Sunday, 18 July 2021

Motherhood Stages - Screen Fasts and A New Shop






Hi lovely friends. I hope all is well with you.

It’s been a while since I wrote here. A lot has been going on for us. Having older teenage children and a sweet grandchild means lots of driving around. We live in the countryside, which is lovely, but it’s a long way from town and as there is only one daily bus out to town, the girls rely on Tani and I for lifts to their various activities.








 I love having teenagers. There have certainly been moments of intensity and emotionally stressful moments to navigate but watching the girls grow into young women is an incredible journey I feel honoured to be on. 

I’m not going to lie. I often look back through the baby albums and even early blog posts through tears. Sometimes, the grief of knowing that for health reasons  I’m unlikely to have another baby of my own is overwhelming. The time seems to have literally flowed through my fingers. I can’t believe my children are almost grown. And all but two of them are now taller than me! Surely that shouldn’t be! 

I miss little ones snuggling and story times and even waking during the quiet of the night to gaze at the wonder of my own newborn baby. But there is a season for everything. And every season has its hardships and joys, it’s lessons and it’s dreams. 




I went on a screen fast during lent this past year. I just needed time alone to process, to pray and to heal.

This past year has been difficult. I’ve had health problems and my Daddy passed away in September after being ill for several months. My lovely Mama is very frail now and needs a lot of care. 

I thought I would struggle with my screen fast. I’ve done screen fasts before snd struggled but by God’s Grace, this time, I found it pretty easy.

I was able to rest and process, read and pray. I went to visit the blessed sacrament and let tears fall.

Then God put it in my heart to write a story. Every day pen in hand is sit and write and the words just flowed out. Those words became a book.

Then the inspiration for landscape shawls came to me inspired by paintings I’d been working on quietly in the summer house after my Father passed. I began to knit and paint and all this creativity that had been pent up inside came out of me. It was so healing. I could almost here my Daddy say ‘ go on you paint Suze.’ He bought me my first set of oil paints when I was 13. I remember that drizzly, cosy Autumn day looking through antique shops, the smell of incense from the little art gallery like it was yesterday.  I also remember when he took me to Monet’s water Lily garden in France because I lived Monet, like he did. Seeing those water lilies glimmer under the bridge I knew so well from my Father’s books was one of the most magical experiences.








I like to think of my paintings as impressionist watercolour landscapes.

So, I have opened a shop which you can find here:

https://www.etsy.com/plainpearlart

I am working on a website. 

I also have a shop Instagram which you can find here: 

http://Instagram.com/plainpearlart


I’ve started a shop YouTube channel:


https://youtube.com/user/sailingbystarlight


I know I haven’t been posting here much. I am planning on posting weekly again.

I do post regularly at my Faith blog here: 

http://onthewaytothegarden.blogspot.com

And I occasionally upload at This YouTube channel too:

https://youtube.com/channel/UC1AHlOUK3lHHHVB4DhV22DQ


Sending lots of love to all who read this blog.I pray you have a beautiful day.










Thursday, 28 January 2021

Our Lockdown Homeschool Schedule ( or unschedule)







This year has seen us return somewhat to a looser, more unschooling approach to our days. At first, as usual, I found it hard to let the structures we had so carefully developed, honed and tweaked unravel! Unschooling does have a slightly unsettling chaos about it. It can also mean more mess and more parental facilitation ( at all hours of the day!) And yet there is also so much peace and joy in it too.  

When the children were younger we often enjoyed seasons of unschooling but as they reached highschool age we began to structure our days around a curriculum.

Curriculums definitely have their benefits and we still incorporate curriculum material into our days ( see end of post for details) to keep the basics ticking over, but our kids seem to really thrive when given the opportunity to really focus on  what they really live and have an interest in. Unschooling tends to lead to in-depth spurts of learning in specific areas of interest. This can leave ‘holes’ in some subjects which can be problematic but it’s amazing how many subjects one project will cover.Also, even in schools there are holes in the curriculum. Not all history can be covered and a lot of practical subjects aren’t covered. Taxation and mortgages aren’t covered in maths lessons and politics is often only briefly mentioned. 

Even something as simple as an art project can develop and involve many other skills. For example, Seraphina has been working on creating colouring pages, downloadable prints and cards to sell online. This project began with art and ended with her learning  IT skills, in order to enable pictures to print at different sizes without losing picture quality. It also involved her learning business skills and laws, accounting costs for time and materials and photography and social media skills so that she can present her artwork in the way she wants to. Here is a link to her shop. 

This year has had a lot of loss for our family. The loss of my Dad effected the girls very deeply. It didn’t seem right to simply get back into our normal routine straight away. We needed time to grieve. My dear Mum has also needed a lot of extra care too which the girls have wanted to be involved with. 

They have also had to navigate their own emotions surrounding the circumstances of this year. The fear that stems from loss and the deepening of faith that grows from greater clinging to God.

These are life lessons, real education, learning about values, learning about what matters most, learning what to put down in order to hold onto the most important things of all; faith in God, relationships, giving of self, supporting one another, work/life balance and meaningful work.

In the Spring, Seraphina really wanted to plant a garden in honour of her Grandad as he was a horticulturalist. She asked him lots of questions about what to grow and how to grow it which he loved to answer.  She built a raised bed and put together a mini greenhouse. Some of her vegetables did very well while others succumbed to pests, blight, too much sun or not enough water. She learned how much physical effort goes into preparing and maintains potato beds. She also learned about how hard  it is to grow your own food yet how rewarding it is despite the effort. I think these lessons were equally as valuable as anything she could have learned from a book. 

This year, Boo has made the decision that music is going to be her main focus. She spends much of her day writing, recording and producing and has developed so much through that. Not just in terms of learning how to get a song out there, but also how the creative arts require as much discipline and effort as any other job if you want to create something of real and lasting value. She has also had to navigate the world of social media and has definitely become aware of its addictive effect. She has also experienced  the rush and disappointment of gaining and losing likes and follows. Yet this has helped her understand the careful balance between allowing other’s ideas and encouragement to inspire without letting them effect the integrity of what she creates. She has had think about  ‘relevance’ and ‘brand’ and how much she wants that to effect what she puts out there. Her song Good as Love was featured on BBC introducing last October. It was very emotional as she wrote that song for her Grandad who always supported and encouraged her in her music. 

Tilly has also been doing lots of creative bits and bobs. During lockdown she has  been learning guitar and piano, writing songs, crocheting clothes and making homemade balms and salves. She has also started writing a blog, got into calligraphy and has been designing journal pages.

Inspired by her big sisters Nola has written a song and with the help of her big sisters produced it and even made a little video for it. She has also discovered a keen interest in animals of all kinds and has made little projects and power-points on her favourite animal of the moment. This interest in animals was really inspired by a little wild  baby bunny that we rescued and cared for earlier in the year.  She has also been learning the recorder and realised that she actually enjoys writing stories contrary to previous experiences and is working on a children’s book.

Children will learn because it’s what they’re designed to do. They don’t have to be forced or coerced to learn. Unless, of course, it comes to subjects they really dislike. Everyone is made with unique gifts and individual quirks though. It’s unlikely someone will want a career in something they have never enjoyed doing and have no natural affinity for.

Still, we do keep up with maths, science, history and geography to ensure they know the basics in most subjects. But these lessons are done in a easy to digest way rather than through text books.

Below I’ve written down some of the more structured things we are still doing but bear in mind, although it looks like a fair bit on paper, we work through them at our own pace and only in the mornings so afternoons are completely freed up.

For Maths we use Life of Fred and Maths-watch. 

Science is mainly kitchen experiments. 

For geography we do map drawing, and learn about different countries and cultures through You Tube travel diaries. 

For History we use Story of the World, Horrible Histories and the ‘You wouldn’t want to be’ book series. We also watch a lot of the Ruth Goodman documentaries. But even reading and watching period dramas, books and movies  is a great way to learn history.

We also do a lot of Reading Aloud. 

Matilda and Seraphina are enrolled on Catherine Mooney’s English Course. Matilda is learning French with Dreaming Spires and has virtual Violin lessons. Seraphina is working through her Lamda grades. Boo is doing singing grades and Nola is taking Piano lessons with her big Sis. 

Nola also uses the free and excellent Good and Beautiful language Arts curriculum. 

For Catechism, we are working through Our Lady of the Rosary Family Catechism and do Bible study as part of our morning basket.

 (We don’t necessarily do a morning basket in the morning) ... ( in fact sometimes we do it in the afternoon or the evening or on weekends or not at all for a while) Sometimes, instead of Bible study we’ll learn about a Saint especially if it’s their feast day or perhaps play ( and try to sing along to) some lovely chants or hymns.

With things as they are in the world at the moment and with less ability to get out and about we’re putting our mental, emotional and spiritual needs first. We are being gentle on ourselves.

 I hope you are all well too and being gentle with yourselves as well.


Saturday, 9 January 2021

There is a garden - Indeed, it is Spring there












It’s been a quiet season. These past few months have been wrapped in a soft blanket of grief. Autumn and grief seem to be so close to one another. 

My Daddy died in September one day before his 88th birthday. 

Nola said he got to celebrate his birthday in heaven.

We played Linden Lea at his funeral. It was the hottest September day I’ve ever remembered. All the Roses were blooming in the Cemetery Rose Garden. His flowers were entwined into a beautiful cross with a garland around the coffin. There were bluebells woven through the centre of the cross. The bluebell woods along the stray lanes and almost lost to modern life ‘Twitterns’ of Sussex were a beloved place for Him. The sort of place that goes beyond the stuff of earth. 

I miss him. His fierce, artistic, guileless spirit, his passion to know and experience life fully and deeply, his stark remarks, his perennial sayings, his stories. And yet, as the months have passed I’ve sensed that spirit still. It is the same but different; enlarged, unfettered, alive, soaring, close. Tangible as his old Irish Shillelagh leaning up against the bookcase. Untroubled by illness, loss, trauma, doubt, it shines, purified and pure by a place where we will one day see one another and love one another properly.

A place beyond the dim frosted ice glass sky of winter.

In May ( my Father’s favourite month ) I heard a voice. I’ve heard a similar voice only 3 times in my life I think. It wasn’t audible but it was clear as a bell. It came from behind my right shoulder. 

The voice said ‘There is a garden. Indeed, it is Spring there.’ My father was a gardener. He used to say ‘I paint with a spade.’ 

At that point he was far from his beloved garden, and laid in a hospital bed. I knew that this word was for both him and me. When I told him about it he said yes. He could understand. He knew. 

The girls have had dreams of their Grandad and in every one he was in a beautiful garden. 

I have felt his companionship on dog walks, as I read through his old diaries and school letters and while praying the rosary.

The diaries and letters are some of my most valued possessions. Garden diaries, travel diaries, liturgical diaries but mostly, plain, brief, simple records of everyday life.

How much beauty in the ordinary of those words recounting nothing more lofty than the planting of spring bulbs, a birthday tea, the anniversary of a wedding.

A glimmer of the ordinary everyday. How we take such days for granted!

It has made me realise that however, unimportant and flawed these simple, broken fragments of everyday life are a way of remembering, re- membering, re-connecting with something, though gone, remains in another form in the present moment.

"The details make life holy. If you want a little happiness in life don’t forget to look at the little things. It is a poet’s work to see the incidental, pluck it, place an appropriate silence around both sides and see the profound in what passes for a passing moment. It is an artist’s job to as much discover art as create it. Prayer is a way of making the common profound by pausing, tying knots around a moment, turning our life into a string of pearls."- Noah Ben Shea 

I have found myself going inward during the last few months. This inwardness has been further compounded by the lockdowns.

 I am beginning to feel a stirring of life within again now. Like the little bulbs I planted back in September that are slowly being awakened by faint yet growing light. 

Now as I find myself writing here once more I have a strange conflict. A perennial conflict. I want to write and share and yet I find platforms like this uncomfortable. They kind of wordlessly make it seem as if the one writing might have found the answers to life, the universe and everything.

I definitely haven’t.

Anything I write here is a fractional, edited version of my own limited, growing understanding based on my own experiences. 

Thank God for Grace. I need it. Every day.

Yet I’ve come to realise and accept that it seems that like the bulbs, much if my life is to be spent in quiet, unseen places which is probably where I feel most at home. Yet, seasonally, at the waxing of the light I stir. And each time of emergence finds me the same but a little different. 

Closer perhaps ( I hope) from the perennial plunging of tentative roots and reaching upward of tender shoots to that great light which awakens.



Sunday, 29 November 2020

Friday, 30 October 2020

The Idolatry of Work











Work is important. But a certain kind of overwork that has become so prevalent and celebrated in our culture is destructive rather than creative.

Homeschooling high school age kids I often feel the pull to put aside true creative endeavour and things that matter most of all such as quiet times that cultivate our connection to each other and God in order to press on towards ticking off an ever increasing and impossible check list.

Perhaps what I’m saying is there are many kinds of work. 

The kind of work that has a marketable value may not necessarily be the most valuable work.

.

And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.

Iain Thomas

.

. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30 .

Friday, 16 October 2020

Why I don’t subscribe to the waldorf philosophy anymore

 

Hi guys,

I just wanted to share something that has changed for us over this past year. 

As you know, we have often loosely followed waldorf curriculum over the years.

Around a year ago I became slowly more and more aware that the actual philosophy and spirituality of waldorf is actually in conflict to my christian/ catholic faith.

Our homeschool still includes a focus on nature, art, handwork, catholic feast days, home and natural, eco friendly toys but a deeper look at the waldorf philosophy reveals things that I can’t reconcile and do I won’t be using or promoting any waldorf anymore and will also not be selling or promoting waldorf in my shop. 

I’ve seen and heard a lot of Christian Mama’s coming to a similar conclusion recently. I don’t want to share anything that could lead others to something that has occult undertones. I personally know how damaging that can be. I prayerfully encourage you to watch  Sister Emmanuelle Maillard's testimony on YouTube for some insight. This is why I’m writing this post.

I thought about simply shutting down the blog but wanted to explain things honestly first. 

Here are some thoughts. 

There are so many things that can look inviting and beautiful, so many different ideas vying for our attention. 

One thing that always appealed to me with waldorf was the beautiful scenes of playrooms and seasonal tables. The ‘simplicity’ of the curriculum also appealed. But the curriculum in terms of planning and implementation was often far from ‘simple’ or inexpensive. 

Something  that looks beautiful on the outside isn’t always good and something that is good doesn’t always look beautiful in the way the world defines beauty. Sometimes true beauty is hidden and secret, not something that can be displayed or look impressive.

I realise how little I really know and how much I need God’s wisdom and Grace for guidance and discernment. I really do get lost on my own. It’s humbling to realise how much I need my faith to keep my steps from wandering. 

False ideas, however ‘beautiful’ they look on the outside will only cause harm in the end.

That is why I want to keep things simple. I pray that our homeschool is founded on simple faith. 

Something that requires no bells and whistles, no outward show and may make no perfect pictures.

 I pray that I with all my failings and errors are not at the centre of the picture but that Jesus is.

I pray that our homeschool will be fashioned by Truth and the Love that flows forth from all that is true. 

Sending love to any and all who read this. I hope and pray any who might have been influenced by any false philosophy from my blog accept my sincere apologies.