A Soulful Life: Motherhood Stages - Screen Fasts and A New Shop

Sunday, 18 July 2021

Motherhood Stages - Screen Fasts and A New Shop

Hi lovely friends. I hope all is well with you.

It’s been a while since I wrote here. A lot has been going on for us. Having older teenage children and a sweet grandchild means lots of driving around. We live in the countryside, which is lovely, but it’s a long way from town and as there is only one daily bus out to town, the girls rely on Tani and I for lifts to their various activities.

I love having teenagers. There have certainly been moments of intensity and emotionally stressful moments to navigate but watching the girls grow into young women is an incredible journey I feel honoured to be on.

I’m not going to lie. I often look back through the baby albums and even early blog posts through tears. Sometimes, the grief of knowing that for health reasons I’m unlikely to have another baby of my own is overwhelming. The time seems to have literally flowed through my fingers. I can’t believe my children are almost grown. And all but two of them are now taller than me! Surely that shouldn’t be!

I miss little ones snuggling and story times and even waking during the quiet of the night to gaze at the wonder of my own newborn baby. But there is a season for everything. And every season has its hardships and joys, it’s lessons and it’s dreams.

I went on a screen fast during lent this past year. I just needed time alone to process, to pray and to heal.

This past year has been difficult. I’ve had health problems and my Daddy passed away in September after being ill for several months. My lovely Mama is very frail now and needs a lot of care.

I thought I would struggle with my screen fast. I’ve done screen fasts before snd struggled but by God’s Grace, this time, I found it pretty easy.

I was able to rest and process, read and pray. I went to visit the blessed sacrament and let tears fall.

Then God put it in my heart to write a story. Every day pen in hand is sit and write and the words just flowed out. Those words became a book.

Then the inspiration for landscape shawls came to me inspired by paintings I’d been working on quietly in the summer house after my Father passed. I began to knit and paint and all this creativity that had been pent up inside came out of me. It was so healing. I could almost here my Daddy say ‘ go on you paint Suze.’ He bought me my first set of oil paints when I was 13. I remember that drizzly, cosy Autumn day looking through antique shops, the smell of incense from the little art gallery like it was yesterday. I also remember when he took me to Monet’s water Lily garden in France because I lived Monet, like he did. Seeing those water lilies glimmer under the bridge I knew so well from my Father’s books was one of the most magical experiences.