Soulfood Friday

While all the garden lies like tumbleweed and knotted nest, and hedgerow berries sour to prickle and thorn and the lanes mulch with wet rotting leaf, quiet, unnoticed corners somehow blossom still...

 

 Every Friday I'll be pausing to notice something from the week that has nourished my soul. 
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A special, sacred-everyday moment captured on camera, or perhaps a snippet from a book, a recipe still warm from the kitchen or something whimsical that simply made me smile.
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Here are a few simple things that have fed my soul this week. 

What has inspired/fed/nourished your soul this week friends? 
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 Feel free to link up to your own soulful spaces either at the bottom of this post or in the comments

   

    An InLinkz Link-up

   

Mooring

The night I drove Emmy back to town, the moon loomed larger and redder than I've ever seen it.
She and her boyfriend Matthew are slowly but surely furnishing what was a small, empty attic room into cosy nursery. Tiny clothes are being carefully folded into drawers, her hand painted pictures cheer the walls and blankets both old and new drape the chairs.

Life moves, seasons change and we become more pliable, mutable and softer with their teaching.
Lines that were once etched in stone have been scribbled over with crayon and small mossy plants have started to take root in the cracks.

The next morning the sunlight is thin as whey.
The gangly hedgerow grasses fray.
The signs of their fading gleam gloriously in the wash.
The sky is a crisp, new canvas, poised and ready as a bird on the brink of flight.
And I have no profound words or deep insights to write, or camera at hand to capture the moment.
Just the gossamer fabric of silence which evaporates on touch.

The days are quiet. Just Boo and I.
With no fixed plans, we fill them with that which feels right and good.
I thought I'd fill these extra hours to their brim. Utilise, might be a better word.
I thought I'd utilise them, make them work for their keep and pay their rent. In other words, squeeze their freshness to dregs.  But isn't that what time is for, to be used efficiently and productively?
After all isn't this what I've always dreamt of; time in which to do the things I never get time for?
Modern life can feel a little as if you are in a boat with a leak that you constantly have to keep pailing out.
Money is a constant need as it is for everyone.
Yet keeping the water out through constant work and busyness can sometimes only mean another way of drowning.

Since my illness, I've not had the same quantities of energy that I had before. I've begun to re-evaluate the way my time is spent, literally.

Not every stillness is in want of movement. Not every silence needs to be filled with sound.

Pacing the day means that I can mindfully prepare meals and take care of the home, garden and animals without distraction or discord.
It means I can more readily carve out a peaceful and open space in which to gently welcome often tired and sometimes fractious children home from school.

I am working even if there's not too much to show for it.

In a product driven world, process, which is often hard to define, weigh and measure, can be easily rushed through, forgotten about or removed from the picture altogether.
Work which can't be compensated for in pounds and pence becomes devalued.
This doesn't mean however, that it is valueless work; an important distinction.

This afternoon we pruned the lavender bushes taking care not to break the delicate lacework of the spiders.
We preserved some more elderberries, read passages from books that we were reading in the garden and made each-other laugh.
I knitted some rows of Matilda's sweater and phoned my Dad.
I'm now going to leave early so I don't have to race down the country lanes as I pick up the girls from school.

When I feel the world biting at my heels I will go to my secret place. The one I have furnished with time spent and attention given. And I will trust as Lady Julian of Norwich said.
“All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

 "Don't spend your energies on things that generate worry, anxiety and anguish. Only one thing is necessary: Lift up your spirit and love God."

 Padre Pio

 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33


"The Mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."
Lao Tzu



Joining Tuesday Afternoon at Spirit of Simplicity
 Little Things Thursday
nature notes
Through my lens

September so far...

It has been quite a Summer.
Today the rain falls in silent streams down the window pane and my body responds with a need for blankets, quiet and hot tea.
There is a word to describe an odd creature such as myself who finds solace and comfort in the rain: Pluviophile. 
The brisk red underline of spell check infers that we are not yet a recognised group. 
But I know I am not alone.
On rainy days there is room for the quiet. 
There is room for contemplation and solitude sans guilt.

"Your career and interests,  are important, but they are only important insofar as they lead you toward a deeper understanding of yourself."  A.H. Almass


This "yourself" is not, I presume, a distillation of persona, habits or reactions but an inner essence of being, that, like a silt and tide formed pearl that can only be mined if we are prepared to dive deep.
And the silt only settles when the ocean stops churning.

There are days when I need the quietness of low winds and high tides. 
I need  time to allow the particles fall where they may before I begin to sift and sort.

I was talking with Tani yesterday. I said, I think the only way I've been able to cope with the workload over the last few years is to drop lots of balls.
I am shabby when it comes to texting, answering the phone, e-mailing, attending school/church meetings or wrestling Nola out of her reindeer costume and mismatched socks before playdates or errands. I feel guilty for not being as "on" as I should be.
Yet this seems to be the only way I can make the room to be completely present for the things I do, do. 
I want my yes, when I say it, to be meaningful and authentic. 

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I miss Emmy. She comes back for the weekends but they are not long enough. I understand the practicalities behind her living in town, but it still feels like a wrench. 

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Boo is now homeschooling once more. 
 On her first day she was nervous, but excited as she put on her new clothes and packed her shiny new stationary into her rucksack. However, as the days wore on she began to wilt. When she came home last Tuesday she was like a crumpled piece of paper. It just wasn't working out.

The teachers at school were kind and wonderfully supportive. Indeed, can't say enough good things about the staff. They really do turn up everyday, wanting the best for the kids in their charge.
But there were other things. The uniform was too tight. The lessons were sometimes interesting, sometimes boring and occasionally great fun, especially, dance, art and music. The playground was too small and too concrete, however the breakfast bagels were delicious. The day was too long. The rules were too strict, especially when it came to needing the loo during lessons. And sadly, friends turned out not to be friends when it mattered most. 
This friend thing is so important when you are 11 and a half. Actually, this friend thing is really important when you're 30 something and a half too. I'm sure we can do more to nurture friendships in schools.

Overall Boo feels glad she had the experience, as she says, it has given her a wider perspective on how reality works and why it often doesn't :)

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Just wanted to mention, we live in a tiny village with very limited and temperamental Internet connection. The BT man visited "to upgrade" the broadband a couple of weeks ago and, as it seems, got a little tangled up in the wires leading to our house. So my interweb presence may be more sporadic and random than usual until it gets sorted.

Wishing you all a lovely week ahead! Pictures are from our village's annual Picnic on the Green.

Today

Today

I am reading:
Walter Wink's book, "Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way." and following Tonia's great series on the book over @ Study in Brown.

I am listening to:



I am writing:
Here.

I am feeling:
Overwhelmed, at peace, frustrated, melancholy, joyful, excited, prayerful, grateful...and a wee bit tired. throughout these, busy, full days of motherhood. All intermittent except the tired part :)

For dinner tonight:
Pasta with simple garlic, chili and olive oil.

I'd like to share:
Some pictures from today... Spent mainly in the garden.

Rainbow window stars still up from a certain small someone's rainbow themed birthday.

Our Springish window star!

Can you see our new little pets? Yes they really are shrimps!

Poppy fell out of her pushchair today, she needed a paper towel bandage and lots of cuddles and tea ( and cake :) Thankfully she is feeling much better now.

I can't beleive how well loved our waldorf dolls are! Although after a day of garden play I'm thinking they are looking a little grubby and could do with a bath.

Green is such a healing colour. Sometimes I'll just spend time gazing at my garden boards on pinterest and I'll come away feeling all revived and renewed. Green is very cleansing.

Our fairy garden

I sewed this pinafore for Emmy years ago! It has been worn by each child in turn so I have certainly got my efforts worth in :) I think this is the way with homemade clothing. It is valued so much more. This dress is covered in repair jobs!

As soon as Seraphina knows I'm taking photos of her she poses in the most amusing ways. I love her "natural" pensive poses best of all I think :)

Seraphina loves to pick bay leaves for me to put in stews and soups.

A simple bird feeder the girls made at rainbows!

Old fashioned Primulas and cowslips, my favourites (including aquilegias) One day when I'm an old purple wearing lady, I'll have a small nursery that you'll only be able to find down some obscure country lane and it'll sell nothing but pots and pots of primula's cowslips and aquilegias :)

A little silence and Seraphina's posy littering the loveliest pollen all over the table.

Yeast

 

The path becomes a meadow beneath your feet,
I know this way is taking me home.

I follow you
for gentleness follows you.

You are a glimpse of sunlight,
beneath the fig leaves.

With you, the noise of engines cease and life is simple.
Silence and love are the only work.

We sit upon a rock, gaze skyward
and learn from birds,

and fish and the slow assurance
of trees.

What we see becomes;
Look only on goodness.

Plant a garden in the concrete
Mess up the neat lawn verges with wild flower seeds.

Be yeast
Let your love be the yeast that rises the heaviness of this dough,

Making it light,
Making it nourishing.

Making it real.

When loneliness comes stalking

 

When loneliness comes stalking, go into the fields, consider
the orderliness of the world. Notice
something you have never noticed before,

like the tambourine sound of the snow-cricket
whose pale green body is no longer than your thumb.

Stare hard at the hummingbird, in the summer rain,
shaking the water-sparks from its wings.

Let grief be your sister, she will whether or not.
Rise up from the stump of sorrow, and be green also,
like the diligent leaves.

A lifetime isn't long enough for the beauty of this world
and the responsibilities of your life.

Scatter your flowers over the graves, and walk away.
Be good-natured and untidy in your exuberance.

In the glare of your mind, be modest.
And beholden to what is tactile, and thrilling.

Live with the beetle, and the wind.

~ Mary Oliver ~

From The Leaf and the Cloud: A Poem

H/T A Circle of Quiet

Letting go

 

 "Do not lust (want) for it gives way to the desire to possess and the desire to possess incites murder."   Buddhist saying

 I see the word want as meaning dissatisfaction and the word murder as referring to the frustration, envy, greed, anger etc...  a dissatisfied state of being can incite.

Life's lesson is one of letting go.



 
Journalling yesterday.....

Have no fixed plan
No expectation
Just this moment



Want nothing
But what is given
right now



"Let all go dear
              so comes love" e.e cummings

New Year Dreaming...

 

A friend gave us this beautiful Christmas candle decoration! (above) What a gift, the children found it magical and stared at it in wonder in the candle light of many an evening. It reminded me of all my German grandmother's wooden Christmas ornaments! It will be treasured for years to come!

 

 

 

 

(note the pictures below are from our new Year Day walk in our favourite spot.

 

Boo had a really quiet birthday. 

Her big present was a beautiful wooden xylophone.

She is such a sweet and gentle spirit. 

Although it was such a quiet day, she said it was the "very best birthday ever"

 

 

Faith, kitchening, gardening, keeping the home tidy and comfortable. Friends, crafting, creating and learning about things that are relevant to us and deeply interest us. 

These are the essentials. 

Anything extraneous that causes stress to any of the most important things must be put aside.

These are the quiet and simple resolutions that I am making this coming year.

 

  

 

 

 

Matilda has lost 4 teeth along the top of her mouth and two along the bottom over the last few months. 

With these physical changes have come great leaps in maturity and independence. 

I find myself missing her babyhood while being inspired by the funny, creative, quirky character she is becoming. 

In February she will turn seven. 

A very important transitional age in the Steiner philosophy.

It is the age where a child will truly descend into their body and begin to move from purely their will into their heart.

It is the age where imagination begins to bud and blossom.

 

 

 

 

This year I hope to be strong in my vision, yet soft in my application of that vision, always ready to drop all for love whatever that love might look like or ask of me.

 

I have thought about what my word of the year should be and as usual many different words came to mind so I decided to write the ones that spoke most clearly to my soul and put them in a hat and leave it to fate.

The chosen word for the year ended up being "gentle"

I think it is nudging me toward an unforced,  natural, path and pace.

Reflecting the words, that I find, in my life, turn to time and time again. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Gentle, Rest, Peace.