An Autumn Story

An annual re-posting of this Autumn story and play that I wrote with Boo's help many moons ago.
It can be printed out and read or used as a script for a play or peg doll puppet show.
The girls loved it when they were little. Enjoy :)

 

The Elfin Tree

Characters

  

Narrator

Elf

Squirrel

Fawn

Rose Hip Fairy

Primula Fairy

Script

Narrator:  Once upon a grassy meadow, Little Elf noticed a small sapling growing in the glade by the big woods. 

It looked just like the other trees only smaller. She was intrigued! 

She thought she might plant it in her own garden to see how big it would grow.   

Maybe it would it grow as big and tall as the trees that grew in the woodland beyond.

After she had planted it, she felt very proud of herself indeed. 

Every week through the hot summer, Little Elf watered the tree so it wouldn’t get thirsty.

One day after a good many weeks had passed, Little Elf came to water the tree again but when she looked at it she dropped her watering can and the water spilled all over the grass.

Elf:  What has happened?

Narrator: The tree’s leaves were red, gold, orange and brown. Not fresh and green as they had always been!

Elf: “My poor little tree, maybe I am not feeding you well, maybe you are sick”

Narrator: Little Little Elf started to cry. She went to Primula the Spring Fairy and said...

Elf: "Primula Fairy, please help me. Something awful has happened to my tree. The leaves were green but now they are red, yellow and brown.
Am I not feeding it well?"

Primula Fairy:  "See how my yellow petals have turned to seed. All things change with the Autumn breeze! Come now Elf don’t you cry. Go and ask Squirrel she’ll know better than I."

Narrator: So Little Elf went to Squirrel's tree house to ask her. But she was busy collecting nuts, and not in the mood for answering questions. So Little Elf  decided to ask Fawn.

Elf: "Fawn, please help me. Something awful has happened to my tree. The leaves were green but now they are red, yellow and brown.
Am I not feeding it well?"

Fawn: "My spots are fading fast you see, all things change with the Autumn breeze. Come now Elf don’t you cry. Go and ask Rose Hip the Autumn Fairy, she’ll know better than I."

Narrator:  So Little Elf ran back passed Fawn, then passed Squirrel, then passed Primula Fairy until finally she found Rose Hip the Autumn Fairy.

Elf:  "Rose Hip Fawn, please help me. Something awful has happened to my tree. The leaves were green but now they are red, yellow and brown.
Am I not feeding it well?"

Narrator: Rose Hip turned to Little Elf with a gentle smile and said...

Rose Hip: "Of course you are feeding it well. 
The season is changing that is all. 
Time flows like the trickling stream that runs through the Big Woods. 

When it was Spring the leaves were green, but now it is Autumn. 
The leaves change colour and eventually fall to the ground. 

It will soon be winter and your tree will be bare but don’t cry because Mother Nature knows what she is doing. Your tree isn't sick, it's just sleeping.

After Winter it will be spring once again.
For Spring always follows Winter.

In Spring you'll see new baby leaves and blossom budding on the tips of its branches.

 Narrator: Little Elf was very grateful and was also very happy. In fact she was so happy she had a party and invited all of her friends to come!
They danced and sang until tea time.
Every animal brought something from the autumn harvest: sunflower seeds, barley bread, sweet corn, ripe plums, apples, hazelnuts and elderberry tea!
They all had a lovely time, eating, drinking and dancing around the golden, shimmering tree.

Elf: I love my tree

Narrator:  Little Elf, snuggled up in a cosy nest of moss at it's roots.

The End.

So finally, a post, that has been a long time coming

So I'm finally sitting down to write a post that has been a long time due.
I am finally feeling strong enough to come back to this online space and share some of the huge changes we've been through in the last two years. Sometimes you need a bit of perspective to process everything and see how the bigger picture looks.



Being a young (ish) Grandmother is much like being a young mother. It has it's challenges but they are far outweighed by the rewards. As the children grow things become easier in some ways and harder in others. The children are developing their own friendships, interests and schedules and it's both scary and wonderful to watch them emerge from the cocoon of childhood into adolescence. Nola is still little but she loves to hang out with the big kids and be part of their world.

Sometimes there are Eleven people in our home including Emmy's boyfriend Alex and a dear family friend who has been staying with us since early Spring. Eleven sounds like a lot doesn't it. It is. And it would feel like a lot if everyone didn't pull their weight but generally, usually, most of the time they do.



Sometimes it's hard for Tani and I to find space as a couple as we transition from the intensity of parenting and homeschooling the little years to being the parents of mainly (almost) teenagers. We have to be intentional about creating boundaries for ourselves in the sacred, quiet of evening and make time to go on mini tea dates while errand running on weekends. Tani and I are entering a new stage as a couple. It feels like we are rediscovering each other on a different level. Now that the children are a little more independent we are able to make more time for just being with one another. One of the benefits of a full house is  there is usually  someone on hand to watch the younger ones for an hour or so.

The kids love the busyness. It's tribe like and feels very natural to live in a big group. The children always have someone to play with or talk to. There is always something interesting going on. People having in depth conversations about something they've read, idea's, philosophy, making creating, crafting, working, cleaning, cooking... Always. Something. Going. On. And most of the time it's good.

Although it can also be tricky if you are a INFP, introverted, hobbity type. Strangely, though I've come to realize that it is actually good for me to have a lot of people around me. Although I'm naturally inclined to spend a lot of time on my own it can make me to inward looking, too self critical and even melancholic.

I grew up as an only child. My parents two were only children as were my Father's parents, my grandparents on my mother's side had siblings which had died, or lived in (what was then communist East Germany.) I grew up feeling isolated. I guess I grew to get used to the quiet, perhaps even thrive on it.



It's really strange though because I actually remember being really extroverted and sociable as a little kid. I was always ready to out and about, meet people, do things. Over time I retreated further and further inside my own shell until it became normal for me to identify myself as an introvert.

I was looking at this Ted talk about personality types recently and realized that yes, although I am in the green quadrant (caring, encouraging, passive, listening) a part of me is also in the opposite quadrant (resilient, task orientated, social, expressive) It felt like a big revelation. Perhaps that is why I always feel as if I can always understand both sides of an argument. I've always been a bit of a between categories kind of person. I'm a catholic but I find so much richness in other spiritual traditions, my homeschooling is an eclectic mix of Waldorf/Charlotte Mason/Un-schooling and Classical, I am a hippy, health conscious type but my kids watch television and eat frozen pizza from time to time.

It seems that mid-life includes a whole lot of reconciling opposites and contradictions. Life becomes less black and white and far more nuanced. Things that I would have been quite orthodox about in the past seem more complex. I have less judgement of myself and others. Having ideals isn't a bad thing but when taken to extreme, as things can be in the online world, they become distorted. If trying to live up to a set of "ideals" makes you guilt ridden, stressed, judgmental of those who fall beneath them then what are they really worth even if you attain them. I will be writing a lot more about the subject of idealism and mid -life. They seems to be pretty hot topics for me at the moment.

Extremism in any form is unhealthy whether that's extreme eating ( even extreme healthy eating such as juice cleanses, fasts, raw food diets etc), beauty ideals, or setting unrealistic expectations in your home or with your children.
I'm not saying standards are wrong but taken to the extreme, anything is.



Sometimes I have to take a walk in the woods, or sit with a candle by the window, listen to some gentle music, or birdsong, or silence, pray and realign myself with my deepest core, my spirit, my God. In this place everything becomes clear and peaceful. There is no striving.

These quiet times have become more and more important over the last couple of years. My body let me know that it was time for some changes to take place by not functioning as well as it should. I totally changed my lifestyle and diet and my thyroid disorder began to go into remission. (More on that another time)

My beautiful Emmy girl finally completed her A-Levels this June ( through an unexpected pregnancy, Liver function issues, Pre-eclampsia, C, Section delivery, relationship breakdown, moving house and contracting C-dif after going into hospital with a tooth infection which she needed intravenous antibiotics for, she earned herself three A levels in Psychology, English Language and Business. Writing it all down really puts it into perspective. I am proud of her. She has come through a lot, stayed strong.

She now has a job as a marketing assistant. She also passed her driving test and has just become the youngest scout troupe leader in the county. The other day she came home from work, dressed in her smart suit and I thought to myself, wow, that is my daughter, all grown up. 

It is both wonderful and strange when the mother/child dynamics change and you communicate with your child as a peer, as an adult in their own right. It's been challenging at times. It's hard to let go and trust that your child has grown into a capable adult who can easily drive herself about, take care of her baby, find herself a job and a good man that will love her for who she is and even perhaps trek up mount Snowdon and go on adventures with her one year old in an ergo on her back. (as the pictures illustrate.)

I have much more to say and I will, no doubt, write it all out in due time.
I have two highschoolers homeschooling at the moment and hope to share more about what they are doing too!

As usual, I'm always pleased to be back in this quiet spot. In a busy home, it is nice to have a space which is just your own, even if it is virtual.

word kindling

Sylvie stares at me bemusedly as I jot down notes. I began a couple of projects about a year or so ago. They are bundled into a riddle of skeins which I am now, finally, attempting to untangle. Journals brimming with brief sketches, spider diagrams and scribbles clutter the bedside table. There is a book in here somewhere, maybe two. Well it's nice to dream.

I love the initial stage of writing. The stream of consciousness memory jotting. The sideways  glancing at humanities eccentricities. I metaphorically (although sometimes when pushed, literally) throw all my notes up in the air and let them fall where they may. It is glorious. But oh, the picking up the pieces and pasting them back into some semblance of order and the knitty, gritty editing and re-editing of drafts is a far less inspiring task. Yet I have felt unusually methodical of late and as a result I already have 10,000 words down.

Ultimately, if no bound tome arises from these crumpled ashes the process of breathing my breath on them till they kindle will seem enough.

A big announcment

There have been many changes here at home over the last few months.

Last October, I became ill and then I became ill again... One infection and/or illness after another.
It felt as if my body was breaking down. By April I was almost completely disabled. I was so ill I couldn't move out of bed.
I had adrenal fatigue, low iron levels and a low white blood cell count.

I went into a very deep meditation during this time. I felt like a thousand birds were flying out of my body and time slowed right down.

For the last 3 months I've not had any alcohol, caffeine and hardly any sugar. I could only eat and drink liquids for the first week or so, so my body went through I kind of detox by default.
I have cut out 3/4 of my intake of wheat and starch. Not to follow any specific diet. My body has just become very sensitive and my intuition has become very focused. My body seems to be telling me very explicitly what it needs and what is harmful to it.

I don't have the same energy as I did before. However, I think much of the energy I've had over the past few years has been false energy, built on stress, adrenaline and coffee.

I am not accomplishing much at the moment. I'm not being productive.
It is hard to see things pile up and not necessarily fix them straight away.

I have been allowing myself time to heal. I've followed the prompts of my soul and my body, I've gardened, sat down with a book for an afternoon, gone for walks with my dog, written with paper and pencil, knitted simple hats and prayed.

Both my parents are elderly and in need of extra help and support which I can't give until my immunity improves. Emmy is now at college full time and working part time so I've lost the company of a dear friend and kind helper during the day. So with a heavy heart and actual tears as I write this I have found a beautiful village school for the children to go to. The school is affiliated with a local forest school, has an eco garden, frog pond and clay oven for bread baking. It really couldn't be any closer to a Steiner school except being a state school it's within our budget :)

As this blog mainly focuses on homeschooling I have been in a quandary about whether to continue writing here or not.

Would my readers be interested in posts about health, wellness, poetry, philosophy, gardening, knitting and basically a whole bunch of randomness fresh from my head as well as the usual fare of natural play, learning, parenting etc...?

Please feel free to comment and let me now. I welcome your words!

I am sure many of you will feel upset about the changes. I am still an advocate of homeschooling and will always believe in natural, community and family based learning for children.

Sadly, I have no family of my own and Tani's family are miles away in Albania so there is little to no immediate support for us as I navigate my way back to health and healing which is the main reason why we've decided that we can't homeschool for the time being.

Although we have some wonderful homeschooling friends they are dispersed and we can only meet up (realistically) once a week at most.

I yearn for a tribe of families, elders, babies, little ones, teens to live with and learn from. I yearn to pop my head out of the front door and ask to borrow a bottle of milk or a sprig of bay and in turn trade and/ or share experience and expertise with others who seek a more soulful and sustainable path.

I have always hoped to provide a comfy spot for those who stop by this nook on the great interwebs! I have certainly connected with some beautiful souls over the years. I hope to continue to do so, as our family's journey winds it's way along another moss strewn, fern filled path.

Red Campion

Ox Eye Daisy

Meadow Buttercup

Red Clover

Cow Parsley or Queen Annes Lace

  

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.…Proverbs 3:5

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.  

Psalm 127.1

On seeking an Authentic Creative Voice.

"There is one thing in this world you must never forget to do.
Human beings come into this world to do particular work.
That work is their purpose, and each is specific to the person.
If you forget everything else and not this,
there's nothing to worry about.
If you remember everything else and forget your true work,
then you will have done nothing with your life."

- Rumi  (from The Soul of Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks)

The above quote found at a recently discovered gem of a blog, "Myth and Moor"
Terri Windling is a writer, author, publisher and artist who lives in beautiful Dorset.

Her recently published post on perfectionism and the creative process resonated with me deeply.
The concept of writing for one person in particular, rather than a crowd, felt like a revelation.

Practically speaking, at the moment, I have narrow margins of time and space with which to write.
I have found that writing in semi stream of consciousness mode makes good use of these small but precious increments.
However, this "approach" often means that other people's writing voices get caught up in the flow of my own.
The voices of friends, general internet commentary, books that I've been reading etc, end up mixing and merging with my own words and intentions.
There is certainly a difference between honouring the voice, feelings and paths of others and absorbing them whether emotionally or creatively.

The idea of writing (for or to) a particular person could very well help me to channel my own voice more definably.
I think this is something I was alluding to in my last post.

The idea of emitting my own frequency, rather than being imprinted on by others is something I've always found challenging.
I like to merge, empathize and reach out rather than stand out.
I've thought of it as a compassionate and modest way of being but it is also cowardly on many levels. It is a way of not fully embodying my life as I often defer to someone else.

Maybe it is because it can initially seem arrogant to assume your frequency has any importance or consequence.
I can't jostle, or strive to put my own stamp on anything whether physically or meta physically. There is too much responsibility involved with that and as a result too many consequences. It is not a game I want to be a part of.

However, I've come to wonder whether the idea of emitting our own frequency, by which I mean our own uniqueness, authenticity, truth, spirit, story, or all of the above, is actually the only truly valuable or lasting thing we can impart.
It is not based on the premise of wrangling control or seeking power, it is simply letting be what is. It is getting out of the way of the truth.

In the current climate everything has been reduced to commodity status. Even people have begun to brand themselves.
Ideas, opinions, products, and people all hustle for control, as they attempt to offer a vision for others to buy into either financially or ideologically.

The value of a currency is determined by the number of people invested in it.
We can invest our consciousness in anything and increase it's value.

A problem arises if our consciousnesses become conditioned to unquestioned collective norms and we absorb that which is not authentically true to ourselves.
When we invest in something such as a hierarchical system that undermines our authenticity and our spirits we contribute to the energy that is stifling us.

When this happens collectively en masse self serving, pyramid systems develop.
The many focus on one; the point at the top, and the structure solidifies.

But life can be more open, flowing and full than this. All it takes is enough people to believe that we can be true to ourselves without conflict. In fact it might be the only way to avoid it.

Our gift is our truth, our true voice and the resonate frequency it emits.
I hope to learn to use mine, carefully, honestly, humbly and a little more bravely.

 

{Race} 5 minute Friday

I wake up, adrenaline surges.
Sometimes it feels like the arc of a rainbow rising through plumes of majestic, hopeful sunlight and warm, fertile rain before landing on gold.

Sometimes it feels like an ache before a storm; a build up of pressure against the valve of now and all now demands.

Life can feel like a race.

But really, truly, it's not.

I have learnt to let go of the dream of that gold medal as soon as I feel the panic thrum as if my life depends upon it.

Because not everything I think counts, counts.

So I place these pieces of me, the fragile ones that need affirmation, that worry about the future, that feel overwhelmed by a day that has barely begun, upon His alter and ask Him to burn them up and leave me  only that which is necessary, truly necessary to win this race.

And I am left with a little piece of glowing gold at the end of this rainbow.

A small Olympic torch with which to light my way to the end.

A fragment of light that has refracted

through this temporal prism

only to be passed back into light again

through an eternal one.

Some thoughts on writing...

 ...and

A Few Words to a Young Writer: by Ursula K. le Guin

***

Socrates said, "The misuse of language induces evil in the soul." He wasn't talking about grammar. To misuse language is to use it the way politicians and advertisers do, for profit, without taking responsibility for what the words mean. Language used as a means to get power or make money goes wrong: it lies. Language used as an end in itself, to sing a poem or tell a story, goes right, goes towards the truth.

A writer is a person who cares what words mean, what they say, how they say it. Writers know words are their way towards truth and freedom, and so they use them with care, with thought, with fear, with delight. By using words well they strengthen their souls. Story-tellers and poets spend their lives learning that skill and art of using words well. And their words make the souls of their readers stronger, brighter, deeper.