Poverty and Perceptions of Play

 Just popping by to share this insightful article 

In a perceived ‘middle class’ context, the sight of children creating, building, getting mucky, and congregating in groups to play boisterously is encouraged. Yet how differently perceived are children engaging in the same activities with limited resources in a ‘working class’ context such as a council estate. Something to think about.

‘The stigma attached to poverty and low incomes begins early in childhood. When children make dens in parent-funded woodland sessions, their play is valued, encouraged and understood as a part of their development. The same natural play on a housing estate can be viewed as anti-social behaviour, and children’s dens are dismantled and disposed of.’

Thoughts on Homelessness

This morning, as I was scrolling through my YouTube feed, I came across this story from the channel ‘ Invisible People.’

One of the commenters said that if something like this happened to them it would be their own fault for not saving enough for their own retirement. This comment just made me so sad. Sad that we humans so often immediately imagine the worst of each other. 

The truth is a lot of people in this day and age simply can’t save. They don’t bring in a living wage to cover their immediate expenses let alone extra to put into a savings account. 

Some of these people may have been carers for family members during much of their adult lives and were therefore unable to be in paid employment  long enough to save an adequate pension. 

Perhaps they were left disabled through illness or injury and therefore couldn’t work enough to save.

You never know what people’s circumstances may be. Always assume the best. Most people are trying their best.

Over the last twenty years in the UK, and perhaps the US as well, the cost of living has risen and the average salary has not risen with it. 

Life is different than it was years ago. I remember when an average one wage family could afford a decent home, car and an annual holiday as well as save towards retirement etc… These days people often work more than one job and still can’t pay for those things. 

And even if some people simply don’t make it in life, simply can’t make it because of trauma or coming out of abusive situations, or the state of their mental/ spiritual health, or limited ability, we need to be compassionate. Some people can’t just be fixed at the click of our fingers. Because of past trauma or abuse, or mental/ spiritual health or limited abilities,  some people actually need continual help and support to hobble through their lives. They simply cannot do it on there own. And in a compassionate society that should be okay. We should be there for them.

In fact, if our society was more compassionate and valued  the human soul more than the bottom line, perhaps we wouldn’t have so many casualty’s of the  system. Perhaps, we wouldn’t have so many humans living in their cars in the first place.

So finally, a post, that has been a long time coming

So I'm finally sitting down to write a post that has been a long time due.
I am finally feeling strong enough to come back to this online space and share some of the huge changes we've been through in the last two years. Sometimes you need a bit of perspective to process everything and see how the bigger picture looks.



Being a young (ish) Grandmother is much like being a young mother. It has it's challenges but they are far outweighed by the rewards. As the children grow things become easier in some ways and harder in others. The children are developing their own friendships, interests and schedules and it's both scary and wonderful to watch them emerge from the cocoon of childhood into adolescence. Nola is still little but she loves to hang out with the big kids and be part of their world.

Sometimes there are Eleven people in our home including Emmy's boyfriend Alex and a dear family friend who has been staying with us since early Spring. Eleven sounds like a lot doesn't it. It is. And it would feel like a lot if everyone didn't pull their weight but generally, usually, most of the time they do.



Sometimes it's hard for Tani and I to find space as a couple as we transition from the intensity of parenting and homeschooling the little years to being the parents of mainly (almost) teenagers. We have to be intentional about creating boundaries for ourselves in the sacred, quiet of evening and make time to go on mini tea dates while errand running on weekends. Tani and I are entering a new stage as a couple. It feels like we are rediscovering each other on a different level. Now that the children are a little more independent we are able to make more time for just being with one another. One of the benefits of a full house is  there is usually  someone on hand to watch the younger ones for an hour or so.

The kids love the busyness. It's tribe like and feels very natural to live in a big group. The children always have someone to play with or talk to. There is always something interesting going on. People having in depth conversations about something they've read, idea's, philosophy, making creating, crafting, working, cleaning, cooking... Always. Something. Going. On. And most of the time it's good.

Although it can also be tricky if you are a INFP, introverted, hobbity type. Strangely, though I've come to realize that it is actually good for me to have a lot of people around me. Although I'm naturally inclined to spend a lot of time on my own it can make me to inward looking, too self critical and even melancholic.

I grew up as an only child. My parents two were only children as were my Father's parents, my grandparents on my mother's side had siblings which had died, or lived in (what was then communist East Germany.) I grew up feeling isolated. I guess I grew to get used to the quiet, perhaps even thrive on it.



It's really strange though because I actually remember being really extroverted and sociable as a little kid. I was always ready to out and about, meet people, do things. Over time I retreated further and further inside my own shell until it became normal for me to identify myself as an introvert.

I was looking at this Ted talk about personality types recently and realized that yes, although I am in the green quadrant (caring, encouraging, passive, listening) a part of me is also in the opposite quadrant (resilient, task orientated, social, expressive) It felt like a big revelation. Perhaps that is why I always feel as if I can always understand both sides of an argument. I've always been a bit of a between categories kind of person. I'm a catholic but I find so much richness in other spiritual traditions, my homeschooling is an eclectic mix of Waldorf/Charlotte Mason/Un-schooling and Classical, I am a hippy, health conscious type but my kids watch television and eat frozen pizza from time to time.

It seems that mid-life includes a whole lot of reconciling opposites and contradictions. Life becomes less black and white and far more nuanced. Things that I would have been quite orthodox about in the past seem more complex. I have less judgement of myself and others. Having ideals isn't a bad thing but when taken to extreme, as things can be in the online world, they become distorted. If trying to live up to a set of "ideals" makes you guilt ridden, stressed, judgmental of those who fall beneath them then what are they really worth even if you attain them. I will be writing a lot more about the subject of idealism and mid -life. They seems to be pretty hot topics for me at the moment.

Extremism in any form is unhealthy whether that's extreme eating ( even extreme healthy eating such as juice cleanses, fasts, raw food diets etc), beauty ideals, or setting unrealistic expectations in your home or with your children.
I'm not saying standards are wrong but taken to the extreme, anything is.



Sometimes I have to take a walk in the woods, or sit with a candle by the window, listen to some gentle music, or birdsong, or silence, pray and realign myself with my deepest core, my spirit, my God. In this place everything becomes clear and peaceful. There is no striving.

These quiet times have become more and more important over the last couple of years. My body let me know that it was time for some changes to take place by not functioning as well as it should. I totally changed my lifestyle and diet and my thyroid disorder began to go into remission. (More on that another time)

My beautiful Emmy girl finally completed her A-Levels this June ( through an unexpected pregnancy, Liver function issues, Pre-eclampsia, C, Section delivery, relationship breakdown, moving house and contracting C-dif after going into hospital with a tooth infection which she needed intravenous antibiotics for, she earned herself three A levels in Psychology, English Language and Business. Writing it all down really puts it into perspective. I am proud of her. She has come through a lot, stayed strong.

She now has a job as a marketing assistant. She also passed her driving test and has just become the youngest scout troupe leader in the county. The other day she came home from work, dressed in her smart suit and I thought to myself, wow, that is my daughter, all grown up. 

It is both wonderful and strange when the mother/child dynamics change and you communicate with your child as a peer, as an adult in their own right. It's been challenging at times. It's hard to let go and trust that your child has grown into a capable adult who can easily drive herself about, take care of her baby, find herself a job and a good man that will love her for who she is and even perhaps trek up mount Snowdon and go on adventures with her one year old in an ergo on her back. (as the pictures illustrate.)

I have much more to say and I will, no doubt, write it all out in due time.
I have two highschoolers homeschooling at the moment and hope to share more about what they are doing too!

As usual, I'm always pleased to be back in this quiet spot. In a busy home, it is nice to have a space which is just your own, even if it is virtual.

thoughts on my morning routine

 I was late to joining Facebook. I only started looking at my feed about a year or so ago. For some reason the energy I get from Facebook seems to make me feel tired and weary. I used to think it was a good way to hear about and share interesting articles, but more and more I come away from Facebook with a weary, jaded feeling. I don't like it. I can't explain it but I don't like it.

 I want to change this part of my morning routine. There is something about the morning that is sacred. The way I spend my morning colours the whole of my day.

Surely, energy emanates from our rituals, and our habits. Our rituals and habits form and in-form us. Similarly the in-formation we absorb effects us and our energy output.

"We are what we eat," in broader terms than simply nutrition. We are also the words we hear, the images we see, and the environment we live in. These things are our culture. They are the brushstrokes that create the undulations of our internal landscapes.

Tani was baptized and confirmed during the Easter Vigil Mass 7 years ago. After the Mass he told me of the incredible sense of peace that overwhelmed him for days after the event. He is an analytical person, his mind never stops. For that week he felt profound inner stillness.

But how to attain this fleeting, transitory awareness?  I cannot attest to retaining it throughout every interaction or situation. Far from it. I too easily digress into the fluctuating nature of my own emotional condition. But I have found one thing, that if I devote the beginning of my day to beauty, meditation, prayer, stillness and free thought the rest of my day is positively effected by it.

What we do grows from the energy of who we are.

After all our cells are changing all the time.

"Your body is constantly replacing old cells with new ones at the rate of millions per second. By the time you finish reading this sentence, 50 million of your cells will have died and been replaced by others. "
citation




 “Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you.” The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photo-receptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.” Sergio Toporek
 

To simply drink your tea

 

I realize I haven't been around much. Going from the full and crazy busy days of seven years homeschooling five children to an almost empty house during the day has left me a little dazed and bemused. I thought I'd be knee deep in all those projects I never had time for but I find myself wanting to just do simple things, wanting to fully take in the little things.
There's the late afternoon sunlight after rain, grooming the cat and actually drinking a cup of tea while it's still hot. Bliss.

"To be mindful is to be fully present with whatever we are doing. If you are drinking tea, just drink your tea. Do not drink your worries, your projects, your regrets. When you hold your cup, you may like to breathe in, to bring your mind back to your body, stop your thinking, and become fully present. In that moment, you become real and the cup of tea becomes real. In this state of true presence and freedom you enjoy simply drinking your tea."

 Thich Nhat Hanh

Last night I dreamt that I was little again. 
One thing you forget about being little is how much your body wants to move and feel the elements. Water, air, earth and even fire have an irresistible appeal. You want to feel the weight of things. You want to move against their resistance and harness their power. 
The first thing I did in my dream of course, was jump into a really big puddle. A feet first, full on splash bomb. I could feel the mud writhing under my boots and it was delicious! 
There was an itch in my legs to run and climb. I stretched out my arms, feeling the width of their span like a sail against the wind as I ran down a hill. My arms felt like wings. If I lifted them up the thermals would carry me, I could feel it.  At one point I began swimming like a fish in strong tidal waters. Water scares me and am not a strong swimmer so this was especially liberating. Then as the itch spread up through my arms and I found myself standing on a boat. A paddle in my hand shovelled the heavy water with satisfying ease. I watched  the ripples ebb away silently. Finally I found myself on the back of a horse galloping fast and free. 

This dream  surprised me. I have always thought of myself as a homebody. Although I enjoy walking in the countryside, I have never been keen on sports. And yet, as I dwelt on the dream I realised how much I actually did love to feel the elements on my skin. It made me remember how, when I was little I loved to move and dance and play in water. I loved to feel the bracing aliveness of testing my limitations by climbing, tumbling and rolling down hills. 
I began to wonder when this love and freedom of my own body ended

 I remember constantly being told to sit still at school. I fidgeted a lot. I'd rock on my chair, tap my fingers on the desk, or kick my legs. Which must have driven my poor teachers to distraction in all truthfulness. 
Thinking on these memories I remember a sense of shame being attached to movement quite early on. Sit still, line up, don't wiggle, stay put! 
At the age of 5 or 6 I didn't question this of course. 
I also remember that it was at school that I first really realised that I was clumsy. I couldn't catch a ball and threw poorly. I was less coordinated as some other kids and me and the other ones labelled not good at sports were always last to be chosen for teams. Slowly but surely I began to mistrust my own body. Instead of enjoying my physicality, I became self conscious and more sedentary. It happened, slowly, incrementally and almost intangibly.  
I wonder, in hindsight, if that the part of me that loved the tactile experiential side of life was channelled into art.
 I loved the feel of clay, think paint and pastels, indeed any medium that I could feel in the fibres of my body as well as I could see it on the fabric of my canvas. 

Now that I have my own children I see with great joy, that they are confident and strong in their bodies. They climb, swim, cartwheel and run with abandon and trust. 
Matilda has always been similar to me in regard to coordination, and clumsiness, yet, she has never noticed a problem with it. She loves to play catch, dance, kick a football and throw a netball just as much as her sisters do.
However, last week she came to me rather sadly, saying she didn't want to do PE anymore because she isn't good at it. This really broke my heart. I don't want her to feel betrayed by her body. I don't want her to feel the social pressure to conform to one, particular, narrow standard. I want her to feel centred and strong in her skin. I wonder if  by overly structuring and measuring movement in the form of formal lessons we undermine some children's natural love of it particularly those children who may not measure up to the standard imposed.

I wonder also, whether this issue effects girls in particular. As women we often feel that we have to control our bodies, natural need for movement and play. We need to be lady like after all, right? From societies repulsion over women's natural body hair to the way female celebrities get in and out of a car, we are constantly judged, shamed, nipped and tucked into stillness and silence.
Through the media we are  pressured to contort our beautiful, strong, flexible feet into high heeled shoes, and make sure we look elegant in clothes that often inhibit our  natural movement, comfort and freedom.

Ultimately I want my girls to question the things that effect them. I want them to feel awake in their minds and strong in their bodies. I want them to be able to simply drink their tea without the pressures, conflicted interests and agendas of our competitive, consumer driven world taint the flavour.


Photos by Matilda

Mooring

The night I drove Emmy back to town, the moon loomed larger and redder than I've ever seen it.
She and her boyfriend Matthew are slowly but surely furnishing what was a small, empty attic room into cosy nursery. Tiny clothes are being carefully folded into drawers, her hand painted pictures cheer the walls and blankets both old and new drape the chairs.

Life moves, seasons change and we become more pliable, mutable and softer with their teaching.
Lines that were once etched in stone have been scribbled over with crayon and small mossy plants have started to take root in the cracks.

The next morning the sunlight is thin as whey.
The gangly hedgerow grasses fray.
The signs of their fading gleam gloriously in the wash.
The sky is a crisp, new canvas, poised and ready as a bird on the brink of flight.
And I have no profound words or deep insights to write, or camera at hand to capture the moment.
Just the gossamer fabric of silence which evaporates on touch.

The days are quiet. Just Boo and I.
With no fixed plans, we fill them with that which feels right and good.
I thought I'd fill these extra hours to their brim. Utilise, might be a better word.
I thought I'd utilise them, make them work for their keep and pay their rent. In other words, squeeze their freshness to dregs.  But isn't that what time is for, to be used efficiently and productively?
After all isn't this what I've always dreamt of; time in which to do the things I never get time for?
Modern life can feel a little as if you are in a boat with a leak that you constantly have to keep pailing out.
Money is a constant need as it is for everyone.
Yet keeping the water out through constant work and busyness can sometimes only mean another way of drowning.

Since my illness, I've not had the same quantities of energy that I had before. I've begun to re-evaluate the way my time is spent, literally.

Not every stillness is in want of movement. Not every silence needs to be filled with sound.

Pacing the day means that I can mindfully prepare meals and take care of the home, garden and animals without distraction or discord.
It means I can more readily carve out a peaceful and open space in which to gently welcome often tired and sometimes fractious children home from school.

I am working even if there's not too much to show for it.

In a product driven world, process, which is often hard to define, weigh and measure, can be easily rushed through, forgotten about or removed from the picture altogether.
Work which can't be compensated for in pounds and pence becomes devalued.
This doesn't mean however, that it is valueless work; an important distinction.

This afternoon we pruned the lavender bushes taking care not to break the delicate lacework of the spiders.
We preserved some more elderberries, read passages from books that we were reading in the garden and made each-other laugh.
I knitted some rows of Matilda's sweater and phoned my Dad.
I'm now going to leave early so I don't have to race down the country lanes as I pick up the girls from school.

When I feel the world biting at my heels I will go to my secret place. The one I have furnished with time spent and attention given. And I will trust as Lady Julian of Norwich said.
“All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

 "Don't spend your energies on things that generate worry, anxiety and anguish. Only one thing is necessary: Lift up your spirit and love God."

 Padre Pio

 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33


"The Mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."
Lao Tzu



Joining Tuesday Afternoon at Spirit of Simplicity
 Little Things Thursday
nature notes
Through my lens

Homeschooling with Toddlers and Preschoolers ( 12 things I've learnt)

 

It feels like a "post it note to self" day today.
Here are a few reminders I blu-tak to my own wall when life gets hectic with littles.

• Rest as much as you can and don't feel guilty about it. 

 Dishes can wait. 
Real friends don't want to come and visit so they can see your perfect house.
Homely homes that are lived in, are a public service for the rest of us.

And if you only got three hours sleep last night, that field trip or craft project can wait.

From a place of rest you will be able to see clearly what is necessary and what is not.

You will also have the inner resources to work creatively and compassionately with  the inevitable ups and downs a day with littles brings.

We all strive to live up to impossible, media driven standards. Let's not.
    
Rest whenever you can.

• Don't panic, your child will learn what they need to learn when they are ready to learn it. 

Take your cues from your child not other people's children, others expectations or the standardized measurements of the eduction system.

When your child is ready to learn something they will show a natural interest.

To spark that interest, simply create, warm, happy, nurturing spaces in your home with lots of opportunity to play and rest.

You can strew a rotation of interesting books with engaging illustrations. 

Garden together and talk about the seasons. 
Provide art and craft materials and a cheap table they can wreck with glitter, glue, play-dough and finger-paints.

Up to the age of about 6 or 7, many academic principles will be covered through play and simply learning about the things they are naturally interested in.

•   It's about the Journey not the Destination

Littles love to explore the tactile nature of raw materials such as mud, sand, water, finger paints and play-dough. 

 Their efforts may not result in a perfect wall display but their minds will be nourished through experimentation for experimentation's sake.

Focus on the quality of the process not the end product or learning objective. My little ones seemed to absorb more when I gave them the space and freedom to go off on their own tangents.

Understanding the feel, weight, texture, possibility and limitations of the sensory world around them will give them all the tools they need for more academic work such as reading and writing. 

• You don't have to start planning for college just yet!

One step at a time.

Simplify.

If you tend well to the roots of a plant, it will grow healthy and strong with only three ingredients, water, sunlight and good earth.

• Ingredients for good earth are:

A warm, loving home.
 Not a perfect home.

Perfectly decorated bedrooms or the latest developmentally appropriate toys are not as important as connection, happy messes, enjoying simple things and jam jars full of carefully handpicked weeds.

Good earth also means having authentic human beings for parents.

Children don't need your idolized vision of motherhood.

They need you and your truth.
They chose you for a reason.

• Don't let external expectations or standards  compromise your connection with your children.

There is a wealth of  extracurricular activities and groups to join up to. 

Not all will add to the quality of your life. 
So don't sign up for everything under the sun.

 Just because your child doesn't go to school doesn't mean you have to compensate with any and every local activity or group.

Nurture genuine, friendships that grow organically and naturally from shared interests.
Only sign up to activities that really spark your imagination and don't feel like a chore. 

These days are fleeting.
Soon they will be over.
One day you'll have a nice clean dining room table, a new carpet and silence.
The relationship you forged with your child and the memories you made are what will endure.

• You don't have to hover

Some activities will have to be supervised and guidance is always good. 
But don't run yourself ragged micromanaging every second of your child's life.

 Learning how to play, manage boredom  and problem solve independently is a really important skill. 
It is not always easy to work through these developments but it is necessary.

The more you structure and manage their day the less able they will be able to cope with managing their own time as they grow. 

Allow them the time and space to look within for inspiration and validation.

•  Graze

Allow your children to graze on healthy food such as fruit, veggie sticks, hummus, healthy breads, raisins and yogurt rather than cooking complicated meals during the day. 

 Grazing is a natural way of eating and one that many children prefer.

I know that there is a lot of pressure to sit around the table and eat as a family but it's okay if that routine doesn't work for your smaller children.

Investing both time and expectation on a daily family meal that children only fuss over is an unnecessary stress.

There will be plenty of time to develop these traditions once they're ready to embrace them.

Children often have different priorities to adults.
Sitting down for an our at a dinner table may not be one of them.

One day your child may well look forward to deep conversation over good food.

Today may not be that day.
It is okay.

It is also okay if your child eats with their fingers and only takes two bites before running back to their Lego. 

Fill the cupboards with healthy food.
Eat well yourself and they will model your habits.

So long as healthy food is the primary option and treats are not taboo or forbidden altogether, children will eat what they need, when they need it and naturally receive the nutrients necessary for their growth.

• Some days you will feel worn thin

Build trusted friendships.
Connect with like minded families. 

Be honest about your limitations.
We live in a fast paced, pressurized world. 

There is no communal hearth or daily meeting at the well anymore. 
Life has been atomized. It is hard to raise a family these days.

Ultimately a happy, healthy Mama means a happy, healthy family. 
 Do what you need to achieve happiness, health and deep fulfillment and your kids will too.  

This could mean choosing conventional school or nursery for your child for a time. 

There are many wonderful Waldorf schools out there that offer natural, holistic curricula. 
Many schools offer  flexi-schooling as an alternative to exclusive homeschooling. 
This can be a great solution if you want to home-school but have work commitments during part of the week, health issues or babies and toddlers at home.

• Make the most of mornings

Try to take some quiet time to yourself before your littles wake up. 
Even if that means no more than ten minutes with coffee and silence.

Getting out of the house in the morning when your energy levels are highest will lift the rest of your day.
Aim to accomplish priority tasks in the morning too. That way by afternoon you will not feel as if the day completely unraveled under your feet. 

• Ask yourself whether your life looks like you want it to.

Does it nourish your heart?
What matters most to you.
Are relationships more important than results?  

• Above all

Trust your instincts Don't blindly follow lists such as this.

Follow the voice of your instincts. 
It is a good guide.

Every family, every circumstance and every life is different.
There are no hard and fast rules to this beautiful life we share.

Make up the rules that fit you and yours best.






Linking with "Tot School Gathering Place"

The Importance of Rest

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time”

 John Lubbock 

 Mulch and Motherhood

Last week we finally racked Autumn's mulchy brown leaves from the grass to the flower beds and veggie patch.

 I think Motherhood is the mulchy leaf stage of life. Life, post birth and life with little ones is like a season of hibernation. We form nests for our young from the moss, feather and fern of ourselves. And in order to form the warmest nest we re-connect with our inner life; our childhood, our deepest truth, our limitations and our courage.

It can be hard to embrace the falling leaf of slow motion living. We have all learnt to wrestle with the restless charge to do, do, do. And although life with little ones is not always restful it embraces the inner life.

It doesn't always "look" pretty or impressive, but things are happening at an integral level.

Ground is being overturned, hard edged stones are being removed and seeds are being scattered.

 

The most beautiful Spring blossoms grow from compost.

Growth happens in the deepest places. 

Secretly.

In places of rest, and renewal we can re-birth.

Like bulbs beneath Winter's womb.

That emerge, tender and green from Spring's sunlit thaw. 

Nature knows the importance of rest. She is a great teacher.

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”

— Albert Einstein

 

 

 

 

Honouring our bodies need for rest is so essential.

If we want to accomplish things with the full presence of our minds, bodies, spirits and hearts we must be fully rested.

Fields that have been left fallow for a season always yield a greater harvest the coming year.

The  time we take to rest and nourish our inner lives reflects upon our outer lives.

 

Rest clarifies that which was foggy, hones our focus to a sharp point and brightens our perspective.

Instead of becoming frustrated with small details we are able to see the full panorama; the big picture.

Yet there is this inherent guilt in me that I must keep constantly preoccupied with something "useful".

I must be mindful to remember the false economy of that.

 We are still in the process of  un-learning our conditioned ideas about what is important.

 

We want to grow in awareness. 

And then live from that state of conscious awareness.

Life is so short.

What do we want to spend our "one wild and precious" life learning, being and doing?

We are not here to simply cram facts into our brains and pass tests.

So that we can trade the better part of our lives doing a job that neither nourishes us or our world.

We are not here to simply earn money, consume and expire.

 

We are not robots, statistics or numbers.

We are Human Beings each born with unique gifts, a vision, a purpose and a journey to embark on.

Unschooling - {A Day in the Life}

Inspired by Amy of the beautiful blog "To Love" I thought I'd write a little about how homeschooling has been going this year.

 

This past year has been the year where I really shed my expectations and conditioned ideas about what school can be.

I had intuitively felt we were carrying too much baggage but was afraid to let it go.
So now "officially" we don't "do" school. We just live.
And it is enough.



As the years have ticked by I have learnt to trust my instincts more and more.
 I have begun to work with my body not against it. It's need for nutrition, rest, and movement are more valued than before.
 The children naturally work with their bodies needs much more instinctively than I do.
They also don't have any guilt issues around taking a nap, or moving, playing, eating, drinking when needful.
I have found that by being aware of our bodies we are able to naturally self regulate into healthy patterns.

Trust is a big thing in all this home schooling malarky.



I think modern life has made us lose touch with our bodies and our natural instincts.

We deprive ourselves, push ourselves, then indulge carelessly until the guilt makes us feel shamed enough to begin the purging cycle once again.
These cycles can be related to eating, cleaning, exercising, working, consuming, and other addictive habits.
Unrealistic expectations, and relentless multitasking all atrophy our connection with soul.
I could write an entire post on how modern media, WiFi, the culture of fear, pollution, bad nutrition and the systematic secularization of the sacred are numbing our ability to connect with our spirit but  I'm aware that I'm already rambling far too much already.



What has all this got to do with school?

When I was at school a teacher of mine used to say, "lessons are not just learning facts, they are training for the mind."
What kind of training could this be I wondered ? I still wonder this now. Do I want to "train" my children? Do I want to be "trained". Not so sure I do.

Although without a doubt I've been conditioned into a belief system which has very hardwired and narrow views on what is natural and healthy for a small, growing human being. I
t has been such a long process of "letting go". Letting go of my preconceptions about what being human is and finding my feet without fear.



So how does this work in practice?

Here's a little peek into a one of our days.... How about yesterday?

Well yesterday We woke up around 7.
Kids all came into bed with us, we chatted, they got hungry, Emmy and Boo took the younger ones down, made breakfast ate.
Boo brought Tani and I a couple of scones and some tea. Tani and I chatted a bit on our own, then got washed and dressed.
Tani went to work. I made us all more tea. Girls were playing with Fina's new birthday toys. Before long lot's of half drunk cups of cold tea began to litter the draining board to keep company with the loitering breakfast bowls.
Emmy went upstairs to work on some content for a local business blog that she writes for.
I read picture books with Nola.
Nola went for a nap.
Fi began stitching a teddy bear from a kit she received as a  birthday gift while Boo, Tilly and I took it in turns to read aloud from The Hobbit.

Tilly and Boo did most of the reading while I got to grapple with at least one knotted thread every five minutes :)

 

We took a break, Tilly went outside to play tennis with Fina.

I went on Pinterest with Boo. Boo likes reading the quotes. She wanted to know what this one meant so she printed it off, took it downstairs, found definitions for the words she didn't understand and we talked about the meaning of the quote, the language used, the context and time in which it was written and whether or not she agrees with it and why.

Tilly came inside a bit sad because Fina kept hitting the ball too high and lost it in the hedge.
I got to go on a treacherous ball finding expedition.

I ask Tilly to help me make salad and pittas for lunch. We have some very interesting and artfully shaped peppers for our salad bowl.

I remember, out of the blue, that we didn't do morning prayers because I didn't want to interrupt the girl's morning play. Wonder if I should suggest them now. But....

Nola wakes up, grumpy and hungry. She eats half the salad off my plate and pushes her own on the floor "accidentally" when I suggest she might like a salad all of her very own.

Girl's ask if we can go out. It's drizzly and rainy. I do some quick mental maths and realize we would only have an hour before getting ready for tennis anyway so decide to stay home.

Emmy practice's a new piece on piano. She is trying to teach herself from grade 6 to 8 this year so she can take the exam without the expense of lessons. Her beloved teacher retired last year and as we are saving like crazypeople this year we're going to hold out.
It is not as easy as she thought it would be, but we get lots of free impromptu classical performances.

 Boo gets her lap harp and finds a harmony and they work together on a piece.

 

Matilda, Nola and I check the plants and take notes on how the veggie plot is coming along.

We talk about which flowers are blossoming and which need dead heading. Nola gets a little overexcited with the dead heading part, and harasses the rabbits somewhat till I agree to sit one on my knee for her to pet.
We talk about the difference between perennials, biannual and annuals. And Matilda squeals with delight at the new baby leaves that are beginning to grow on her African Violet cutting.

Fi bounces on the trampoline and squeals and chatters and shows me a number of impressive "Circus Tricks" that she is going to do when she finally joins the circus, ( a perfect occupation for her I think) and then squeals some more.
She does this a lot.  Bouncing mainly, but squealing too! and chattering....Oh the chattering!!!

I have tried to force her to sit down and work with me on her reading and maths before, but she simply can't do it. And if she does do it she'll be a spring unsprung afterword and quite out of sorts.

I'm glad we can wait until she is developmentally ready to take an interest in books.
She is such a free spirit and a beautiful, strong, effervescent soul. I don't want to dowse that.

I tell the three middles to put their tennis clothes on and collect their rackets . Adding as an afterthought oft neglected.... ( REMEMBER TO FOLD THE CLOTHES YOU'RE WEARING BACK INTO YOUR DRAWS...UNLESS THEY ARE REALLY FILTHY INWHICHCASE THEY CAN GO IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET!!!)
In the gentlest, calmest of tones of course....Ahem.

I get Nola changed.
Boo cries and cries whenever I brush her hair, so I chop about 3 inches off the tangled ends and promise her she can choose a style on Saturday and I'll give her a proper grown up haircut.

I wrap a handful of banana muffins that Tilly made a couple of days ago and fill a couple of bottles with water and we head out the door.

We get to tennis about 5 minutes late as usual.
While Tilly And Fi are at Tennis. Emmy, Boo, Nola and I visit a friend.
She is having an art class and Boo and Emmy watch while I take Nola out in the garden where she fills her pockets with "beeeful dones" "beautiful stones".

Then we say farewell, pick up the two stragglers and drop Boo off for her lesson.

When I arrive home a friend who is staying with us has graciously washed up and started dinner.
The girls watch "Kristen's Fairy Garden" and I tidy up a bit and go and have a cup of tea upstairs on my own.
Tani and Boo arrive home. We eat. Tani drops Emmy off at her scout group because they are having a camp this weekend and she is a young leader which means she gets to do all the camps.

It's a beautiful rainy evening. I love the sound of rain outside at dusk. The leaves of the sycamore are emerald and sparkling.

We say prayers by the window I light some candles. Nola keeps trying to touch the candles so they are quickly blown out. The sacred moment is undermined somewhat by little wriggly, squirmy, girlie.

Tani takes the girls to bed. I work on some knitting and sewing for my shop downstairs.
Once girlies' are "eventually" asleep (or at least not running in and out of one anothers bedrooms on important covert missions such as finding their special chicky, or retrieving a long lost book.) Tani joins us and I work and we chat and drink a glass of red wine, till around midnight. I come upstairs read a blog post or three and fall into the loveliness that is complete darkness and silence of those moments before sleep overcomes.

And thus, I present one random day among many :)


 

I think the essential ingredients to our home school are these.

• Working with and not against our bodies needs.
• Trusting my instincts and being flexible.
• Creating a home where beauty is honoured and mess is embraced.
• Strewing, and exposure to many different things that will ignite their curiosity.
• Facilitating and supporting  their passions.
• Reading and learning from living books.
• Saying Yes to the children! As much as possible.
• Remembering to also say yes to myself which might mean saying no to them at times.
• Learning how to work together while honouring the differences between us.
• Lots of outdoor time, even if that's just garden play.
• Art and Crafts.
• Time for friends and community.
• Making a conscious effort to learn from and respect other cultures, belief systems and perspectives.
• Doing less. But doing with a sense of  purpose and meaning.
• Allowing natural day to day life to be the primary teacher. 
• Making time every day to honour the sacred and holy.
• Integrating the sacred with the everyday; making  everyday work a form of prayer