...in response...

I just had to write a post in response to comments on this post about the poor standard of living conditions the council are providing for a disabled woman and her 5 children.

I'm really tired of people who judge others for the number of children they have.

Those within a lower socio-economic income bracket often receive the worst prejudice of all.

It seems that there are quite a number of people who feel that if you don't fit a certain criteria, or earn a certain salary, you should not be allowed the privilege of having children.

Even though they work hard, many people do not and will not ever rise above a certain economic level, does that mean they should forfeit the greatest human right of all, the right to have a family? Should such a thing be sanctioned by an independent body, the government or worse still societal pressures and prejudices?

In the current climate many families' salaries are topped up with tax credits or medical exemptions even though they are doing everything possible to support themselves independently of the state.

Truthfully, many of the people at the lower end work harder, in more undesirable conditions, for less than those in the middle or top of the pile.
Does it mean they should be penalised?
I hope not.

I sincerely pray this lady and her family get the help they need...and deserve.

I also hope that compassion will overcome judgement in many hearts.

Mother Teresa once said...
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

And what really makes the world a better place love or judgment?

When blogging hurts

Words are written so easily. The silence of the page hardly rebounds. Keys fall loosely, fluidly, without a sound. Mute and rhetorical.
Thoughts overflow upon a hungry white screen and they cannot be diluted or dammed. Emotions seep in drunken abandon.
They create waves, like ripples, ever widening.

Somehow things such as this lie beyond ideology.



Blogging, as with life, work, school or any other place where individuals gather into groups within a group has it's own rules, hierarchies, cliques and tribes.

I don't really fit in. I'm too much of one thing to be another and too much of another to be just one :) Most of the time I just scribble out my heart even though I know I'll never be a writer. Feeling the release of simply letting words fall out from fingertips. Realising how hard it can be to quell the flow.
Or I might record small moments of beauty and grace in this little space here. Staying out of the way like I did at school. Mixing a little with every tribe, still happy to be alone, doing my own thing.

Bullying in the blog world, seems to be getting worse. Maybe I'm just noticing it more.
There are blog parodies, with their very own blog buttons. The purpose of their existence being simply to ridicule other blogs. So much time and effort spent on negativity. Feeding distrust and division.

It makes me so deeply sad. I can't explain why. Somehow it reminds me of the rush predators get when they smell a little blood.
Fraying threads of red glint in blue vastness, and suddenly there is a feeding frenzy. All the fish in the sea clamoring to take a bite.

A few days ago, somebody may have said something a little off key, maybe their words could have been chosen differently.... but the reaction, like a landslide just got bigger. Till everyone involved became knee deep. Mired, smeared, dirtied. I watched on the sidelines half guilty observer, half paralyzed by dismay.

Feels like something bigger than a blog post became damaged somehow.

Grace, is such a beautiful word. So underused. Thrown around as if it were a rag doll, yet how easily broken to pieces like china.

So many things distract, harm, hurt.
There is a woman, I know only through the letters she types, she is really different from me, but today I felt her pain and alienation.
And the subtly of bullying disguised as discussion.
Thin veils these computer screens.
Still not so much between us and the world. As between us and our true selves.

What are the most important subjects in a curriculum?

Sometimes it seems crazy to have all these kids.
And home school them too!

But one thing that our situation affords our children is the opportunity to be in a natural environment. An environment which includes people of all ages.

They regularly get to learn, often by struggling through their own emotions, how to be patient and empathetic toward younger ones. Equally they learn to be respectful and loving toward older members of the family. Because they are around them. All day.

There are ups and downs and things don't always run smoothly. 
Yet I see them learning how to, grow around one another like the gentle tendrils of small tender shoots, feeling out compassion for one another.
I thank God that bullying is a foreign word to them.

This interesting study gives some insight in to the kinds of things that foster compassion in young people.


Sadly, these days we tend to think of bullying as an almost natural, normal part of growing up.
It has become so prevalent.
Managing large groups of children in an institutional setting may only intensify the epidemic we are witnessing.
What is happening is not normal and shouldn't be accepted as such.
Bullying can destroy people's lives.

Creating warm, natural loving environments for children to grow and learn in; environments that focus on the soul, heart and body just as much as the intellect is what creates compassionate, creative, free thinking and tolerant adults, and thus a more compassionate,creative and free thinking world.

My beautiful and loving daughter was bullied during her last two years at school. When we began our homeschooling journey she barely spoke to anyone outside her family.

A year on and I am grateful to be able to say that she is healing. She still has some way to go. However, she has regained her confidence and is happy with her life.
She volunteers in the community, is a group leader in scouts. She  hikes, abseils, goes caving, camping and mountain climbing. Next year she'll be joining the air cadets and (she hopes) working towards her pilots license. She alter serves, reads and writes voraciously and has jumped from grade 3 to grade 5 piano in 12 months. It is a wonder to me how far she has come.
And somehow, even through it all she has compassion on those who hurt her, her heart has remained intact.

I am incredibly proud of her strength and courage.
Yet it hurts me to know that she never had to experience such a loss of self worth to begin with.

I only share this story because I fear that we, as a culture, are desensitizing children by placing the primary emphasis on academic achievement rather than developing and nurturing friendship.

Driven by cultural norms and external pressures parents too are over stressed and often have little energy to focus on "soul work" or "heart work" with their kids.

Simply working full time to support a family often leaves incredibly thin margins of time for families to reconnect and bond.

There is so much pressure for us all to perform, look coordinated, and achieve higher and higher goals.


With the constant rush and stresses of life it is so hard to focus on what is truly necessary.
It can be all too easy to seek diversions and quick fixes to my stresses, fears and unending lists. My heart and soul can start to dull against the motion blur and background noise.

We all know how burn out feels.

Teachers face an incredible challenge every single day. I only have 4 under my wing not a 30 strong class! Surely it is impossible to "nurture" each and every child when the ratio between teacher and pupil is so unbalanced.

Equally discipline and rules can't always be "loving" in a school situation. They simply have to be tough enough to handle the number of "incidents" that occur each and every day.

General measures and large brush strokes can't effectively nourish each and every child.

Yet every child is so precious. So many are being lost in the system. So many are being broken by the eroding effect of name calling, insults, punches and pranks.


We may, in time create an economists perfect world through the school system, one that caters for all our physical needs providing convenience after convenience, product after product, technology after technology but one that may also  be at the expense of our children's spirits.

To readdress the balance, empathy, compassion, gentleness, kindness, friendship, tolerance and above all love, need to become the number one subjects in every curriculum.

Maybe then bullying could become a thing of the past.