Growing girls...

Well what have we been up to this week?

Nola cried and cried during her 8 month check up where, as I predicted, they stripped her down, weighed, measured and assessed her just to let me know that she is fine :) Which I kind of already new :) Poor little baby thought it was such a big adventure till she had to sit on those cold scales :(



She's still a wee wittle girlie just hitting the 25th percentile, but she has always been that way so no surprises.
Miss Nola has got herself quite a personality now! She is very cuddly and loves to snuggle while wriggling her little body about. She loves to get in on whatever any of us are doing. She loves to race behind the sofa and bury her little face in the carpet till we say "where is Nola?" Then she'll pop her head out and giggle happily thinking she has quite fooled us all!



She loves to scurry across the front room in a game of chase. I'll follow after her on all fours till I catch up with her, when I do she sprawls and I tickle her under the arms. She loves her little animals and dollies and anything that she can shake and rattle. She babbles away and has said a few words (I think) because she is quite consistent with them "Mama" is for when she's crying, or whinging :) She also says amoung other sounds... "Dada", "Baba" for baby, "up" for cup (she is obsessed with cups :) "baw" for ball. She also makes the cutest clicking noise with her mouth whenever she is hungry.



At the moment she doesn't eat too much, but will happily eat a few spoonfuls of organic bio yogurt, mashed fruit, carrot, potato and porridge. She also loves to suck the juice out of an orange segment or gnaw on a rice cracker. Yesterday she even managed a small bowl of mashed stew, which I was very impressed with as she usually won't go for anything with meat in it.



Yesterday when I washed her hair a little curl popped up on the top of her head, it is still there, I'm now wondering if she might have wavy hair instead of dead straight. The little birth mark on above her top lip is fading. I'm a little sad :( We have always called it the spot where the angels kissed her.



There is an old story about why we have a philtrum ( the groove between the top lip and the nose). Apparently the angels impress their finger upon the lips of all babies so they can't tell the secrets of heaven when they are born :) Well this little one tells me a few secrets:)



The three middle girls seem to have had a huge wave of energy recently. They are constantly coming up with ideas, plays, stories, art projects, garden projects, and I let them get on with it most of the time as I don't want to squash their momentum. It is wonderful to see how beautifully they co-operate whenever their is a shared incentive :)



And although written evidence that learning is happening may not be immediately evident, I always find that they seem to make great leaps during these frenzy's of creative play.
The only "problem" is the increased levels of "mess" that can sometimes be generated. When they were little mess could be more easily contained, now they are older I can sometimes feel a little out of my borderline OCD comfort zone with it all. The projects can get quite convoluted and require all sorts of props, and equipment and materials. But by 4PM and everything has been picked up and they are ready for some quiet reading, drawing or writing, or a new favourite, just snuggling up and listening to music, I know that they have been given the opportunity to learn and grow as they need to and that is so very satisfying.



Matilda's life is all about Rainbows at the moment. She counts down the days and hours till Wednesday night when she can go to Rainbows. Talks about rainbows constantly and if not talking then drawing pictures of them :)
Rainbows, sadly, has also been her first experience of girl meanness. Last week she came home in a strange, distant mood which I had never seen her in before. Eventually it came out that a couple of girls had been giggling and whispering about her and they told her that they weren't going to tell her what they were talking about because she wasn't their friend.
I know that Matilda is very sensitive so even though this might not seem like much, to her it would have been very upsetting.
I know that I can't protect Matilda, or indeed any of the girls, from all life's experiences both the good and the bad, but I do want to ensure that they have a warm place to "land" so to speak. A place of comfort, security and unconditional love, where they can figure them out, talk about them, realise that there is nothing wrong with them because of them and that they must never try to find their sense identity or self esteem through other people, but in themselves and their Father God who tenderly carved them in the palm of His hand and loves them infinitly. Ultimately I want to enable them grow stronger not weaker from whatever experiences they go through.
I've tried to explain to all the girls that often when people are being mean, it comes from a sense of their own insecurity. In that way they can still have compassion for that person without feeling as if their behaviour is a reflection of anything about them.



Boo is very strong even though she is quite shy and has run to the defence of her little sisters and friends at her out of school groups many times. She has a keen sense of justice that overrides her quiet nature when she thinks something unfair has happened, or someone is being picked on.



Fina on the other hand, is a natural born leader. If anything, I have to watch that she doesn't overwhelm quieter kids with her exuberance! She has a heart of pure gold though. And it's such a relief in a way, because she is so self assured, I know that nothing will ever bring her down. I wish I was more like her :)



Probably I am over sensitive about the bullying issue because Emmy was bullied both physically and emotionally during her last two years at school.
She had tried to resolve the situation with her class and head teachers, as the children are taught to do, but the problem only escalated.



It was on her last day of school, when she had been bullied by two children, one of whom was meant to be her "friend" and a boy who pushed her to the ground and kicked her hand so hard it swelled to twice it's size, that the previous two years of abuse emerged.
She told me of many different times when she had been punched, kicked, had a hand around her throat etc... including being called names that she didn't even know the meanings of.... Sadly I did :(
She had kept most of it in because, although she had told the teachers nothing had been done about it and she assumed it was just part of what school life was about... It was that endemic.
She was also a shadow of the bubbly, self confident, sweet natured little girl that had started school with such enthusiasm 5 years before.
I weep as I write this because I feel so incredibly sorry for her.
I think that part of the problem was that the bullies mothers worked in the school. I suppose I was too naive to believe that that should make a difference at the time. I put a lot of trust in the teachers and the system.



Emmy had apparently been told over and over again that she should just "get on with it". Some people even told her to hit back, but that is not her nature. Certainly, in the real world putting up with abuse is not tolerated, and hitting back, seldom so.
My beautiful girl has, through much time to heal, now found herself again. Sometimes I have concerns about the fact that although she is a gifted student she may only be able to pass 3 GCSE's through our local college, I have total faith that God will be her light and her guide. No certificate is worth a person's self esteem or happiness. No certificate is worth a person's soul.



She may not have every conventional or formal qualification going but her heart, spirit, body and mind will be intact and she will have other qualifications and experiences which might actually be worth more to the job market in the future anyway.



She has just been accepted on an Open University course which I'm super excited about for her. And that in itself is more of a formal qualification, if ever it was required.
I know that my beautiful girl will shine no matter what she does :)



It's just so good to see her smile so often!
The smile's of children are true blessings!!!
I am so happy I get to see every one of their smiles each day :) How privillged is that!