Poverty and Perceptions of Play

 Just popping by to share this insightful article 

In a perceived ‘middle class’ context, the sight of children creating, building, getting mucky, and congregating in groups to play boisterously is encouraged. Yet how differently perceived are children engaging in the same activities with limited resources in a ‘working class’ context such as a council estate. Something to think about.

‘The stigma attached to poverty and low incomes begins early in childhood. When children make dens in parent-funded woodland sessions, their play is valued, encouraged and understood as a part of their development. The same natural play on a housing estate can be viewed as anti-social behaviour, and children’s dens are dismantled and disposed of.’

Thoughts on Homelessness

This morning, as I was scrolling through my YouTube feed, I came across this story from the channel ‘ Invisible People.’

One of the commenters said that if something like this happened to them it would be their own fault for not saving enough for their own retirement. This comment just made me so sad. Sad that we humans so often immediately imagine the worst of each other. 

The truth is a lot of people in this day and age simply can’t save. They don’t bring in a living wage to cover their immediate expenses let alone extra to put into a savings account. 

Some of these people may have been carers for family members during much of their adult lives and were therefore unable to be in paid employment  long enough to save an adequate pension. 

Perhaps they were left disabled through illness or injury and therefore couldn’t work enough to save.

You never know what people’s circumstances may be. Always assume the best. Most people are trying their best.

Over the last twenty years in the UK, and perhaps the US as well, the cost of living has risen and the average salary has not risen with it. 

Life is different than it was years ago. I remember when an average one wage family could afford a decent home, car and an annual holiday as well as save towards retirement etc… These days people often work more than one job and still can’t pay for those things. 

And even if some people simply don’t make it in life, simply can’t make it because of trauma or coming out of abusive situations, or the state of their mental/ spiritual health, or limited ability, we need to be compassionate. Some people can’t just be fixed at the click of our fingers. Because of past trauma or abuse, or mental/ spiritual health or limited abilities,  some people actually need continual help and support to hobble through their lives. They simply cannot do it on there own. And in a compassionate society that should be okay. We should be there for them.

In fact, if our society was more compassionate and valued  the human soul more than the bottom line, perhaps we wouldn’t have so many casualty’s of the  system. Perhaps, we wouldn’t have so many humans living in their cars in the first place.

Why I’m changing up my shop Tilly Tilda

 

This is a Painting I painted after my Father passed, last September. It’s called Stella Maris ‘Star of the Sea’ It’s of Our Lady, the navigator of the waves, the handmaiden of The Lord. The bearer of The True Light, The Light of the world: Jesus.

What I’m about to write may sound strange or even offensive to some readers. All I can say is that I sincerely mean to only give my own experience and perspective on this. I feel called to write this. I pray these words will only be life giving and not stir up anger.

My perspective has changed over the years, especially in the last two years.

I had a very profound spiritual experience two years ago which I believe was God trying to prepare my heart and soul for the death of my Father. I also believe He was trying to wake me up spiritually and set me back on the right path, a path from which I’d wandered ideologically and as a result physically. Our beliefs are important, they inform our thoughts, habits and behaviours, they provide a framework for our actions.

I have wrestled with the topic I’m going to discuss over the years, even up to very recently. 

Over the past few years, my daughters have shown interest and ability in handcrafts and I have been keen to pass these skills along and include them in my shop.

So now some context for what I’m about to write. I grew up with a belief in fairies. It was very innocent. My mother used to write letters with teeny handwriting and leave them by my bedside with little gifts. She meant no harm. She meant only to delight my childish imagination. One day I wrote back to the fairies saying that I would stay up that night so that I could meet them when they delivered their letter. I went to sleep but woke up very soon after filled with a fear and dread I couldn’t describe and seemed so far from the fun and sweet, delicate ideas I had of the fairy realm. I ripped my letter into little bits and never made such a request again, begging my mother to tell the fairies I didn’t want any more correspondence.

So to the point of this post. I had a dream last night. The gist of it was,  I went into a cathedral with a friend. There was no tabernacle but I still genuflected. Jesus is everywhere, my friend said. Before taking my pew, I went to the toilet. The back of the church seemed to have been turned into some kind of gothic nightclub. In the toilets were a group of  young women dressed in modern gothic attire with strange cross like symbols on their heads and arms. These symbols didn’t look like the Christian cross, they had embellishments that looked like tendrils almost like something from nature and paganism. One girl seemed distressed. I reached out to her and looked in her eyes and told her that I used to come to places like this. I thought they were harmless, fun, escapism. I thought they would be a place of solace and friendship in a harsh, utilitarian, secularised world. But they were in fact, a doorway into a dangerous place spiritually. That it was a false way. The girl began crying but the other girls became angry and grabbed her and tried to pull her back. I woke up and felt really shaken as if there was a message there that needed to be shared.

These days we make light of magic, fairies, witches and all the paraphernalia  of divination and occultism.

In the old days fairies were seen as malevolent and feared by the ordinary folk. These days children’s books, movies, games and fashions are saturated in occult imagery.

Things I once thought of as harmless fun I now see in their true light. These things are spiritually dangerous. Though attractive at first glance and perhaps even seductive, they can become doorways into realms you really don’t want to open.

 Deuteronomy 18:9-14

“When you enter the land which the Lord your God gives you, you shall not learn to imitate the detestable things of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead.

I have come to a place now where I just can’t reconcile this with some of the items I’ve had up for sale at my Etsy shop Tilly Tilda. When I made and sold these items my eyes were not open to the danger of these unseen worlds and entities. Now they are I’ve decided to distance myself completely from anything referencing fairies, magic or other occult things. So I’ve put my shop on holiday mode for the time being and will in the future only be selling such as knitting patterns, and other items that are not related in any way to magical realms etc.. In the  meantime you are very welcome to pop over to my new shop Plain Pearl.

If you are reading this and thinking it’s all a bit extreme. I can totally understand why you’d think that. The world we live in normalises, promotes and celebrates things that are harmful to the human soul but it’s a ‘reality’ I can’t buy into anymore. 

Isaiah 5:20 says: Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe unto them that are ^awise in their own eyes, and ^cprudent in their own sight!

I used to believe in my own self knowledge but it led me to the edge of a cliff. Now I trust that God knows better than I.

I have seen something beyond compare to the world and all it’s fake, costume jewellery. I’ve seen a glimpse of something beautiful, pure and life giving. I want to dedicate my life to that. 

Jesus says in John 15 :: NIV. "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 

As a I a side note, I just wanted to include this amazing testimony by the beautiful and lovely Sister Emmanuelle Maillard.

She also used to be into the occult and astrology ( as was I ) I even used to draw up charts! So I’m not here to judge just pass on my own experience and the experience and wisdom of others who know better than I.

And here is a link to my own story about coming out of the new age.

Afternoon Quiet

 ‘In spite of all the making and mending and all the work that had to be done, with no labour saving devices whatsoever, not even and electric kettle, life was not pressurised in Ashcott, or at any rate in our own home. 

Looking back, I see how almost all the teaching our parents have us was by example rather than in words. It stood us in good stead in later years. One thing Mother always did, and which most of the other housewives didn’t do, as far as we knew, was that once the washing up was done after the midday meal, she would have her own daily wash ( we always washed in the kitchen), take off her morning, working frock, put on a pretty one, and then settle down with her book for the afternoon. Whenever there was any sunshine she’d sit in the sheltered, sun-trap courtyard at the back of the house. She loved the sun. In winter she would sit by the fire. She didn’t get on with her sewing or bending - this she did in the evenings; there were always lots of socks to be darned and other garments to mend. The afternoon was for relaxing and she sat reading, maybe keeping an eye on the youngest child at the same time, but otherwise just sitting there quietly. 

I think this had a quite specific effect on us all. Father would usually be sitting down at that time too, but he never sat in the sun. He’d sit indoors even in beautiful weather. His outdoor time was when he was gardening, or walking. 

All this gave a tranquility to the home, and a great sense of peace and contentment. As we grew older and spent less time in active play, we too would settle down with our books ( I often had my knitting at the same time) and read, or think the long, long thoughts of youth.

- Countryside and Cloister - Reminiscences of a Carmelite Nun - Marie T Litchfield

Sharing some of what Boo has been up too

 One of the most amazing things is watching your kids grow into adults. As a homeschooler, the burden/privilege  of bringing children through this transition seems especially poignant. 

I love how different they all are. I love how unique their personalities are and how they are each blossoming in their own ways.

It seems Boo has been writing songs since she was about nine years old. She recorded her first song "Somewhere a Melody" at 13 and since then she has been working solidly on her music (alongside exams). 

She has a YouTube account where she posts videos and a spotify where her songs can be downloaded and listened to. You can find them by clicking the link here.

If you can, please support her by subscribing to her channel. 

She writes and produces everything herself in her bedroom. She also produces her own music videos. She works so hard. I'm so proud of her.

Here is one of her songs that was played a couple of months back on BBC radio as part of the BBC introducing program.

 

 Here is a song that her sister Matilda wrote that a couple of weeks back.

 And here is a cover she recently made (and produced the video for) of Fleetwood Mac's Everywhere.

 

Motherhood Stages - Screen Fasts and A New Shop

Hi lovely friends. I hope all is well with you.

It’s been a while since I wrote here. A lot has been going on for us. Having older teenage children and a sweet grandchild means lots of driving around. We live in the countryside, which is lovely, but it’s a long way from town and as there is only one daily bus out to town, the girls rely on Tani and I for lifts to their various activities.

 I love having teenagers. There have certainly been moments of intensity and emotionally stressful moments to navigate but watching the girls grow into young women is an incredible journey I feel honoured to be on. 

I’m not going to lie. I often look back through the baby albums and even early blog posts through tears. Sometimes, the grief of knowing that for health reasons  I’m unlikely to have another baby of my own is overwhelming. The time seems to have literally flowed through my fingers. I can’t believe my children are almost grown. And all but two of them are now taller than me! Surely that shouldn’t be! 

I miss little ones snuggling and story times and even waking during the quiet of the night to gaze at the wonder of my own newborn baby. But there is a season for everything. And every season has its hardships and joys, it’s lessons and it’s dreams. 

I went on a screen fast during lent this past year. I just needed time alone to process, to pray and to heal.

This past year has been difficult. I’ve had health problems and my Daddy passed away in September after being ill for several months. My lovely Mama is very frail now and needs a lot of care. 

I thought I would struggle with my screen fast. I’ve done screen fasts before snd struggled but by God’s Grace, this time, I found it pretty easy.

I was able to rest and process, read and pray. I went to visit the blessed sacrament and let tears fall.

Then God put it in my heart to write a story. Every day pen in hand is sit and write and the words just flowed out. Those words became a book.

Then the inspiration for landscape shawls came to me inspired by paintings I’d been working on quietly in the summer house after my Father passed. I began to knit and paint and all this creativity that had been pent up inside came out of me. It was so healing. I could almost here my Daddy say ‘ go on you paint Suze.’ He bought me my first set of oil paints when I was 13. I remember that drizzly, cosy Autumn day looking through antique shops, the smell of incense from the little art gallery like it was yesterday.  I also remember when he took me to Monet’s water Lily garden in France because I lived Monet, like he did. Seeing those water lilies glimmer under the bridge I knew so well from my Father’s books was one of the most magical experiences.

I like to think of my paintings as impressionist watercolour landscapes.

So, I have opened a shop which you can find here:

https://www.etsy.com/plainpearlart

I am working on a website. 

I also have a shop Instagram which you can find here: 

http://Instagram.com/plainpearlart

I’ve started a shop YouTube channel:

https://youtube.com/user/sailingbystarlight

I know I haven’t been posting here much. I am planning on posting weekly again.

I do post regularly at my Faith blog here: 

http://onthewaytothegarden.blogspot.com

And I occasionally upload at This YouTube channel too:

https://youtube.com/channel/UC1AHlOUK3lHHHVB4DhV22DQ

Sending lots of love to all who read this blog.I pray you have a beautiful day.

Our Lockdown Homeschool Schedule ( or unschedule)

This year has seen us return somewhat to a looser, more unschooling approach to our days. At first, as usual, I found it hard to let the structures we had so carefully developed, honed and tweaked unravel! Unschooling does have a slightly unsettling chaos about it. It can also mean more mess and more parental facilitation ( at all hours of the day!) And yet there is also so much peace and joy in it too.  

When the children were younger we often enjoyed seasons of unschooling but as they reached highschool age we began to structure our days around a curriculum.

Curriculums definitely have their benefits and we still incorporate curriculum material into our days ( see end of post for details) to keep the basics ticking over, but our kids seem to really thrive when given the opportunity to really focus on  what they really live and have an interest in. Unschooling tends to lead to in-depth spurts of learning in specific areas of interest. This can leave ‘holes’ in some subjects which can be problematic but it’s amazing how many subjects one project will cover.Also, even in schools there are holes in the curriculum. Not all history can be covered and a lot of practical subjects aren’t covered. Taxation and mortgages aren’t covered in maths lessons and politics is often only briefly mentioned. 

Even something as simple as an art project can develop and involve many other skills. For example, Seraphina has been working on creating colouring pages, downloadable prints and cards to sell online. This project began with art and ended with her learning  IT skills, in order to enable pictures to print at different sizes without losing picture quality. It also involved her learning business skills and laws, accounting costs for time and materials and photography and social media skills so that she can present her artwork in the way she wants to. Here is a link to her shop. 

This year has had a lot of loss for our family. The loss of my Dad effected the girls very deeply. It didn’t seem right to simply get back into our normal routine straight away. We needed time to grieve. My dear Mum has also needed a lot of extra care too which the girls have wanted to be involved with. 

They have also had to navigate their own emotions surrounding the circumstances of this year. The fear that stems from loss and the deepening of faith that grows from greater clinging to God.

These are life lessons, real education, learning about values, learning about what matters most, learning what to put down in order to hold onto the most important things of all; faith in God, relationships, giving of self, supporting one another, work/life balance and meaningful work.

In the Spring, Seraphina really wanted to plant a garden in honour of her Grandad as he was a horticulturalist. She asked him lots of questions about what to grow and how to grow it which he loved to answer.  She built a raised bed and put together a mini greenhouse. Some of her vegetables did very well while others succumbed to pests, blight, too much sun or not enough water. She learned how much physical effort goes into preparing and maintains potato beds. She also learned about how hard  it is to grow your own food yet how rewarding it is despite the effort. I think these lessons were equally as valuable as anything she could have learned from a book. 

This year, Boo has made the decision that music is going to be her main focus. She spends much of her day writing, recording and producing and has developed so much through that. Not just in terms of learning how to get a song out there, but also how the creative arts require as much discipline and effort as any other job if you want to create something of real and lasting value. She has also had to navigate the world of social media and has definitely become aware of its addictive effect. She has also experienced  the rush and disappointment of gaining and losing likes and follows. Yet this has helped her understand the careful balance between allowing other’s ideas and encouragement to inspire without letting them effect the integrity of what she creates. She has had think about  ‘relevance’ and ‘brand’ and how much she wants that to effect what she puts out there. Her song Good as Love was featured on BBC introducing last October. It was very emotional as she wrote that song for her Grandad who always supported and encouraged her in her music. 

Tilly has also been doing lots of creative bits and bobs. During lockdown she has  been learning guitar and piano, writing songs, crocheting clothes and making homemade balms and salves. She has also started writing a blog, got into calligraphy and has been designing journal pages.

Inspired by her big sisters Nola has written a song and with the help of her big sisters produced it and even made a little video for it. She has also discovered a keen interest in animals of all kinds and has made little projects and power-points on her favourite animal of the moment. This interest in animals was really inspired by a little wild  baby bunny that we rescued and cared for earlier in the year.  She has also been learning the recorder and realised that she actually enjoys writing stories contrary to previous experiences and is working on a children’s book.

Children will learn because it’s what they’re designed to do. They don’t have to be forced or coerced to learn. Unless, of course, it comes to subjects they really dislike. Everyone is made with unique gifts and individual quirks though. It’s unlikely someone will want a career in something they have never enjoyed doing and have no natural affinity for.

Still, we do keep up with maths, science, history and geography to ensure they know the basics in most subjects. But these lessons are done in a easy to digest way rather than through text books.

Below I’ve written down some of the more structured things we are still doing but bear in mind, although it looks like a fair bit on paper, we work through them at our own pace and only in the mornings so afternoons are completely freed up.

For Maths we use Life of Fred and Maths-watch. 

Science is mainly kitchen experiments. 

For geography we do map drawing, and learn about different countries and cultures through You Tube travel diaries. 

For History we use Story of the World, Horrible Histories and the ‘You wouldn’t want to be’ book series. We also watch a lot of the Ruth Goodman documentaries. But even reading and watching period dramas, books and movies  is a great way to learn history.

We also do a lot of Reading Aloud. 

Matilda and Seraphina are enrolled on Catherine Mooney’s English Course. Matilda is learning French with Dreaming Spires and has virtual Violin lessons. Seraphina is working through her Lamda grades. Boo is doing singing grades and Nola is taking Piano lessons with her big Sis. 

Nola also uses the free and excellent Good and Beautiful language Arts curriculum. 

For Catechism, we are working through Our Lady of the Rosary Family Catechism and do Bible study as part of our morning basket.

 (We don’t necessarily do a morning basket in the morning) ... ( in fact sometimes we do it in the afternoon or the evening or on weekends or not at all for a while) Sometimes, instead of Bible study we’ll learn about a Saint especially if it’s their feast day or perhaps play ( and try to sing along to) some lovely chants or hymns.

With things as they are in the world at the moment and with less ability to get out and about we’re putting our mental, emotional and spiritual needs first. We are being gentle on ourselves.

 I hope you are all well too and being gentle with yourselves as well.