The Last Time {post it notes to self}

Every. single. moment. is. infinitely. precious.

Just had one crazy week of kids up all through the night with one of these horrid viruses going around and vast swathes of laundry piled high in my room and dishes to do and late night out of hours doctor visits and then I read this poem.

It really does go by that fast.

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them

and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

 

Nola's "forest sandwiches"

{Soulfood Friday}

Slow, meditative  work...

The other morning I saw someone scrubbing all the moss off their garden wall. I suppose some prefer a tidy look. I like to see the way nature creeps and seeps through all our well manicured, neat, clean surfaces. It comforts me. I've often thought it would be great to have a meadow, turf roof. For now I'll do with a moss covered one.

Emmy bought me this beautiful print from The Hermitage for Christmas. The amazing story behind the print can be found here. This week I found the perfect frame for it.

I've been practicing Satin stitch with Matilda. She has embroidered before but now we are starting to learn and perfect the stitches.

Florence and her zen make me want to be a cat. She has this whole living art installation thing going on. She helps me remember that  doing nothing in particular can be the best thing to do.

Every Friday I'll be pausing to notice something from the week that has nourished my soul. 
* 
A special, sacred-everyday moment captured on camera, or perhaps a snippet from a book, a recipe still warm from the kitchen or something whimsical that simply made me smile.
 * 
Here are a few simple things that have fed my soul this week. 

What has inspired/fed/nourished your soul this week friends? 
*
 Feel free to link up to your own soulful spaces either at the bottom of this post or in the comments.

   

   

    An InLinkz Link-up

   

{Soulfood Friday}

Cosy baby boy knits...

 Quiet, grey days...

A birthday lunch at a favourite haunt...

 Garden greens...

 More stream of consciousness watercolouring...

Warming embers in the grate...

Every Friday I'll be pausing to notice something from the week that has nourished my soul. 
* 
A special, sacred-everyday moment captured on camera, or perhaps a snippet from a book, a recipe still warm from the kitchen or something whimsical that simply made me smile.
 * 
Here are a few simple things that have fed my soul this week. 

What has inspired/fed/nourished your soul this week friends? 
*
 Feel free to link up to your own soulful spaces either at the bottom of this post or in the comments.

   

    An InLinkz Link-up

   

{Soulfood Friday}

Peaceful evening view from Emmy's bedroom window.

Her sparkling brown eyes.

Winter sunlight, shimmering through leaf and bough.

A misty morning drive.

A dog that keeps me company and curls up at the end of the bed to keep my feet warm.

Late afternoon silliness.

Every Friday I'll be pausing to notice something from the week that has nourished my soul. 
* 
A special, sacred-everyday moment captured on camera, or perhaps a snippet from a book, a recipe still warm from the kitchen or something whimsical that simply made me smile.
 * 
Here are a few simple things that have fed my soul this week. 

What has inspired/fed/nourished your soul this week friends? 
*
 Feel free to link up to your own soulful spaces either at the bottom of this post or in the comments.


 
   

    An InLinkz Link-up

   

{Soulfood Friday}

 We walked along the lane and every leaf and branch sparkled in the low light.

Warming Chicken Broth on a chilly day.

Long, lingering conversations and the odd bit of bird spotting with my favourite mini Ornithologist.

First flecks of snow freckle the grass.

And am i the only one who would love to live a little more like this.
...and this.

Happy Friday everyone. xx


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every Friday I'll be pausing to notice something from the week that has nourished my soul. 
* 
A special, sacred-everyday moment captured on camera, or perhaps a snippet from a book, a recipe still warm from the kitchen or something whimsical that simply made me smile.
 * 
Here are a few simple things that have fed my soul this week. 

What has inspired/fed/nourished your soul this week friends? 
*
 Feel free to link up to your own soulful spaces either at the bottom of this post or in the comments.


   

    An InLinkz Link-up

   

bits of happy, random things

 Some beauty found on line these past few days:

Women who drift with Deer:  Some women run with Wolves, others drift with Deer. A beautiful piece by writer Sarah Elwell.

This beautiful Folk album by Anne Briggs: Skip to the 26 minute mark for a gorgeous rendition of Young Tambling

The Song of the Golden Hare: One of our favourite Jackie Morris Tales.

Gift Exchange: Another wonderful post by Terri Windling

What makes a good Life: Ted

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, “It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,”
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, “I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."

"Your Catfish Friend" Richard Brautigan

Health

I've not been blogging overly much these past few months. I think I mentioned that I've suffered with Thyroid problems before but never really gone into detail as the medication I take has pretty much dealt with the symptoms over the years. However, over the last couple of months I'd been feeling a little out of sorts but I'd just put down to the crazy/busy of modern life and the big changes we've been going through this year. Writing it all down helps as I tend to keep a lot in while I'm in the process of going through it.

There's been quite a bit going on; Emmy unexpectedly falling pregnant and moving into her own apartment, the horrible bout of illness I had in the Spring that led to low white blood cell count and a six month recovery, my Mum's several hospital stays, Tani's new job along with much longer commute, and  my best friend returning to Albania. Plus of course the ending of our seven year homeschooling journey as our three youngest girls started attending the local village school.

Without homeschooling to worry about I have more time to nurture my own needs but the change still feels very emotional and difficult to come to terms with at times. The house feels very empty between 9 and 3. Homeschooling was an enormous part of our lives and the memories of those years together are incredibly special. Perhaps the transition is particularly poignant as in the same year my eldest begins to found her own family unit. Our nest seems just that little bit barer. I find myself looking with wonder, laughter and a fair few tears at the baby photos. That crazy, messy, magical, wondrous, bleary-eyed, sleep deprived, shimmering time and wondering how it went so fast.

By Boxing day evening while I was tidying up the birthday things (Boo was born on Boxing Day) my heart started to pound and an intense swell of adrenaline flushed across my chest. It really scared me and for the next few hours I felt jittery, shaky and weak. During the following days I began to feel better but  knew I would check my symptoms further. When I spoke to my sister in law who is a OB/GYN she suggested that it could be my thyroid again.

So I have had all the required blood tests and wait to find out for certain.

For such a small gland it sure can cause a lot of problems. I remember when I first went to my doctor  12 years ago and was prescribed antidepressants which did nothing to ease my symptoms. Eventually I moved to another surgery where they did a full blood analysis which revealed that my Thyroid was under-active. Once I began taking Thyroid replacement my symptoms all but disappeared. I often wonder how many people get misdiagnosed and treated due to an underlying Thyroid issue.
Small changes in the function of the Thyroid Gland can lead to myriad of symptoms from lethargy, low mood, difficulty concentrating and dry skin to hair loss, anxiety, palpitations, severe headaches and weight gain or loss.

Since April last year I have cut out caffeine, alcohol and most processed sugar. I've also found benefits from cutting down on my gluten intake too.  I'm exercising a little more (although I usually like to think my life is exercise enough :) been taking multivitamins and pro-biotics and dedicating at least 15 minutes a day to meditation/quiet/prayer time so all in all my body has had to absorb lots of lifestyle changes. 

 I don't know what inspired me to take pictures of my dinner, (below) except from time to time I manage to surprise myself by cobbling together a plate of something reasonably healthy, and not too unattractive. These pictures were taken over the last few months (not days) so I don't always manage both at the same time.

Quinoa, Wild Rice and Mixed Grain with Samphire, Carrots, Garlic, Red Onion, Peas, Chilli and Corriander.

Roiboos Tea with Natural Yogurt, Rhubarb Syrup, Chia Seeds,  Irish Soda Bread and Strawberry Conserve.

Wild Mushrooms with Rocket Salad, Raw Garlic and Irish Soda Bread.

Especially yummy with a poached egg on top!

Simple lunch of Dr. Organic Pitta with Organic Hummus, Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Chilli and Milled Black Pepper. Oh and  Wheatgrass Juice.

.
Health is such a precious gift.
This year in particular has made me think especially of those who suffer daily, maybe even for years with ill health. As well as those who have limited access to good medical care. It also makes me very grateful for our hardworking health professionals, healers and the wonders of medicine in all it's forms.
May I never take the gift of health for granted.

Hoping this new year will  be a happy and healthy one for you too  xx