Of light and trees and blades of grass...

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars

Walt Whitman

Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.

John Muir

There is Peace

THE SHIP OF LIFE

by John T. Baker

Along the shore I spy a ship
As she sets out to sea;
She spreads her sails and sniffs the breeze
And slips away from me.

I watch her fading image shrink,
As she moves on and on,
Until at last she’s but a speck,
Then someone says, “She’s gone.”

Gone where? Gone only from our sight
And from our farewell cries;
That ship will somewhere reappear
To other eager eyes.

Beyond the dim horizon’s rim
Resound the welcome drums,
And while we’re crying, “There she goes!”
They’re shouting, “Here she comes!”

We’re built to cruise for but a while
Upon this trackless sea
Until one day we sail away
Into infinity.


Over the last two weeks I have felt the presence of little Eliyana's soul so powerfully. I see it in colour and beauty and song. In a distant place yes, yet one that has been brought so close it has touched me in such a gentle and profound way that there is no more fear left, only love and peace.
I want to thank anyone and everyone who has prayed and thought about us. Tani, the girls and I have felt people's prayers in the most tangible way.
Yesterday we planted a beautiful yellow rose as a memorial to Eliyana in the garden. This morning the first morning light bathed it in innocent and childlike radiance and it felt like she was smiling.
We made a little memory box filled with scan pictures, the poem above and a little hat and bootee set I had made for her.
She will always be a part of our family. Her place in God's kingdom is really only a breath away from ours. Yet she is ahead of us, taking our hand in hers as He has taken her hand in His.
There is Peace.

Some Sad News...

Sadly, at a routine 14 week OB appointment our consultant could not find our baby's heartbeat.
A scan confirmed that our little one had died.
It was only over the weekend I had my first dream of the baby where I felt her tell me that she was a little girl.
I truly believe that she gave us this gift before she left us so that we would always know her and so that we would be able to name her.
We had chosen the name Eliyana Shalom for a girl which means God Answers Peace.
We have peace in knowing that she rests saftley in Our Heavenly Father's arms. Just seeing her in Jesus's arms, in my heart, has given so much comfort.
I feel very empty and a little lost and very sad yet I know how very blessed we already are to have the beautiful girls we have.
God knows His ways and they are right and good and I know how lucky I am to be able to have my faith.
I'll be taking a couple of weeks break from the blog though. Just a little time, to cry, pray and heal.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel an deep ache. It hits me suddenly and without warning. In the middle of washing up, or the moments of quiet, the shade of blue of the sky.
My heart hangs heavy, pangs silently, a sudden outburst of rain fills my eyes.
I feel like mercury pushing the clouds out of the corner of the picture in the Spring time Primavera But I can only chalk blue skies with my mind. My thoughts are a clear meadow, but my heart is a sunken valley where the rain pools.
Yet there is sunlight all around me and flowers in small hands, so many gifts.
It's only the un-drawn picture, the un-fashioned memory which falters my smile. It is the one small hand I will never touch. The little body I will never hold, the smile I will never see,
and I mourn it.
I grieve for a little child I never knew, yet know more intimately than any in some ways. Because now she enfolds my soul in the wings of prayer as I once held her little body beneath my heart.

Open Air Curricula...

Fina in the bluebells... finding wonder...

Exploring, running, imagining, discovering....

Hiding, searching, finding....

Every shade

of Blue.

Repose...

Freedom...

Listening...

Beholding...

Interacting...

Learning to balance...

...As you spread your wings...

Some thoughts on the unfolding joys of homeschooling

Over the last few weeks or so, it seems, the homeschooling has suddenly clicked together into a beautiful rhythm all of it's own.
It might sound crazy to say ( as I have 3 small girls in the house all day with me) but life seems to be so peaceful, so natural.
There are of course moments of rush, there are tantrums, there is spilt milk, as is normal, but there is a pervading sense of calm and gentleness of pace which graces us through these times,when they come. Coming less and less as they do when routines are moulded to fit the truly important things in life.

These spaces enable us to gain both the time and perspective needed to take the positive out of every experience, even a small disagreement over toys. Natural learning incorporates every detail of life. Learning is not compartmentalised.
In the adventure of living in their own natural environment the children learn what it is to share, what it is to give to those younger than yourself first. We take the time to talk about those children who don't even have toys and how lucky we are to have the ones we have. We come to a conclusion that we might show our thankfulness by generously sharing with one another.

I learn too. So much.... I learn more about patience and giving out more and more of my love freely and easily and finding more and more peace in return.
I learn that beyond weakness lies strength, His strength.
And I learn about how each strand of a day can weave the most wonderful picture for a child. A picture that will fill her future with the colour of strong, nurturing, sustaining memories.

Ten minutes here reading a favourite picture book. Ten minutes there discussing the possible inner worlds of mini beasts.
The building of an arc, The painting of a flower, the treasures hidden in the sandpit, the reading of simple stories, the forming of words and sentences all of your own, the steady understanding of the logic of numbers, the spark in the eyes as something is understood, captured, realised for the very first time. And of course plenty of time to run and play and just be, as a child should be given the space to do.

I am so glad we took this leap of faith. Bujana is so happy with her sisters and everything is fitting together piece by piece into the right picture for our family.

An Evening Wander ....

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul

Psalm 23