Monday, 14 September 2015

September so far...



















It has been quite a Summer.
Today the rain falls in silent streams down the window pane and my body responds with a need for blankets, quiet and hot tea.
There is a word to describe an odd creature such as myself who finds solace and comfort in the rain: Pluviophile. 
The brisk red underline of spell check infers that we are not yet a recognised group. 
But I know I am not alone.
On rainy days there is room for the quiet. 
There is room for contemplation and solitude sans guilt.

"Your career and interests,  are important, but they are only important insofar as they lead you toward a deeper understanding of yourself."  A.H. Almass


This "yourself" is not, I presume, a distillation of persona, habits or reactions but an inner essence of being, that, like a silt and tide formed pearl that can only be mined if we are prepared to dive deep.
And the silt only settles when the ocean stops churning.

There are days when I need the quietness of low winds and high tides. 
I need  time to allow the particles fall where they may before I begin to sift and sort.

I was talking with Tani yesterday. I said, I think the only way I've been able to cope with the workload over the last few years is to drop lots of balls.
I am shabby when it comes to texting, answering the phone, e-mailing, attending school/church meetings or wrestling Nola out of her reindeer costume and mismatched socks before playdates or errands. I feel guilty for not being as "on" as I should be.
Yet this seems to be the only way I can make the room to be completely present for the things I do, do. 
I want my yes, when I say it, to be meaningful and authentic. 

*

I miss Emmy. She comes back for the weekends but they are not long enough. I understand the practicalities behind her living in town, but it still feels like a wrench. 

*

Boo is now homeschooling once more. 
 On her first day she was nervous, but excited as she put on her new clothes and packed her shiny new stationary into her rucksack. However, as the days wore on she began to wilt. When she came home last Tuesday she was like a crumpled piece of paper. It just wasn't working out.

The teachers at school were kind and wonderfully supportive. Indeed, can't say enough good things about the staff. They really do turn up everyday, wanting the best for the kids in their charge.
But there were other things. The uniform was too tight. The lessons were sometimes interesting, sometimes boring and occasionally great fun, especially, dance, art and music. The playground was too small and too concrete, however the breakfast bagels were delicious. The day was too long. The rules were too strict, especially when it came to needing the loo during lessons. And sadly, friends turned out not to be friends when it mattered most. 
This friend thing is so important when you are 11 and a half. Actually, this friend thing is really important when you're 30 something and a half too. I'm sure we can do more to nurture friendships in schools.

Overall Boo feels glad she had the experience, as she says, it has given her a wider perspective on how reality works and why it often doesn't :)

*

Just wanted to mention, we live in a tiny village with very limited and temperamental Internet connection. The BT man visited "to upgrade" the broadband a couple of weeks ago and, as it seems, got a little tangled up in the wires leading to our house. So my interweb presence may be more sporadic and random than usual until it gets sorted.

Wishing you all a lovely week ahead! Pictures are from our village's annual Picnic on the Green.









19 comments:

  1. nice pictures, looks like fun times.

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  2. I found myself nodding my head in understanding as I read your words this morning.
    It's so hard when our babies grow and move out, I am still not over it and I've done it
    four times so far. I wish all of my children would live at home, I've offered, but with
    a hug they decline. :)
    I'm glad your Boo had the school experience, but as another soul who needs home I
    understand her reasoning. Oh the friend thing, especially at her age is so hard and
    you are right, no matter the age friends are important.
    I too love a good rainy, quiet day, but not days on end so I am thrilled to see the sun.
    I hope your week is filled with quiet beauty!

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  3. Oh, I am so glad about Boo home schooling again!! She seems the type who would thrive that way! As a shameless plug for home schooling here, I think it is a more natural way to make friends of all types and all ages...friendships seem to grow "organically" from the life you are leading as a family. That is how it has been for us.
    One of my sons and I are very much Pluviophiles, too. Someday we will all be recognized as a group. ; )

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  4. Lovely, lovely photos.....

    We do what we have to do... Always... Without second guessing or apology or feeling random guilt.

    We each have our duties. We know how to deal with them. And we know when to "drop balls."

    Hooray for "dropping balls"!!!! :-)

    Gentle hugs,
    Tessa

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  5. I love the pictures that you take which seem to give your own personal perspective of what you see. We are all familiar with the dropping of balls - you need to just do what is important to you - the rest is all of little importance. We have had tremendous rainfall and thunderstorms here plus a few hailstones thrown in - Autumn is determined to make itself known it would seem. Have yourself a peaceful week doing things you enjoy.

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  6. What a beautiful place! I too love to sit in solace, listening to the rain, making sense of the world. Things are much clearer then it seems.

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  7. Beautiful photos. Such a tough age for Boo to enter school, and find out friendships aren't what they seem. It is good she had the experience, and has now made the decision to return home. Enjoy your time with Emmy, never long enough, I know, but at least she is coming home on the weekends :)

    Wishing you a lovely week.

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  8. That looks like a lovely village party. Boo is very lucky that she has the option of homeschooling. I am fascinated by her comment that sometimes "reality doesn't work"! Very perceptive - as we all have our own reality... and we participate to lesser or greater degrees in the shared fantasies / dreams / myths of "reality". As for dropping balls, well! For me it isn't a matter of will I or won't I, but will I know the right ones to drop?!

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  9. That is a tough age for Boo to enter school, my daughter has many of the same complaints - but having been in school for several years, so far her friendships are genuine and solid. I had friend issues at Boo's age and I think you did the right thing!!!! Hope you are feeling good enough these days to have her homeschooling. xo

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  10. Oh isn't Pluviophile a lovely word! I love it when it rains really hard but I'll pass up on unending drizzle! I'm sorry Boo had such a tough time of school but yay for her having the wisdom to know what could work with time and to change when it couldn't, I hope the rest of her year goes swimmingly:)

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  11. lovely.. i hope boo's days go better xxx

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  12. picnic on the green sounds and looks lovely. Our rather tiny island has an annual bonfire on the beach to celebrate the end of summer and the beginning of another school year. I am certainly one with you finding comfort and solace in the rain. It rained here these past few days and I could feel my entire being settling down after 2 weeks of end of the summer craziness. Aaaahhhhhh

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  13. beautiful photos as always. it is so wonderful that your girlie got to try out school but then come home because it wasn't working out. i have offered that to my children as well. try it out, if it doesn't work we can make a change. <3

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  14. I received my lovely package yesterday, thanks so much. love it, and love you

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    1. So thrilled it arrived safe Denise :) xx

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  15. Increidible light, unique perspective in your images. Even more incredible, insightful thoughts + ideas. X

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  16. it's so great for boo to know that, if she isn't happy at school, she can homeschool again... because in most of cases children must go to school even if they don't want to, and parents don't pay attention to their needs or just can't do other way (oh well, there're always different choices for them as parents...).

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  17. Your posts are so often just a sheer delight.

    The homeschool journey, sometimes that is just exhausting. But from one who is out the other side ... it works and it's so worth it. I drop balls still and my kids are mostly grown and flown now so what excuse do I have ... I'd rather dance than juggle though, that's how I look at it.

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  18. I am a pluviophile thru and thru. I have a Pinterest board of that name and filled with lots of rain. Rain soothes my soul. : )

    I just found your blog and I'm so enjoying it while sipping a hot cup of coffee on a crisp fall morning here in New York. Have a beautiful weekend. xo

    ~ Wendy
    http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/

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